World Funniest Joke

Post by Mark

In an experiment conducted in Britain, people around the world were invited to judge jokes on an Internet site as well as contribute their own.

The LaughLab research, carried out by psychologist Dr. Richard Wiseman, from the University of Hertfordshire, attracted more than 40,000 jokes and almost two million ratings.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says: “Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: “OK, now what?”

A runner-up:

A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man.”

The other man then replies: “Yeah, well, we were married 35 years.”

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Sesame Street Stoned MP3

Post by Mark

Here it is, Kermit and Big Bird stoned. [MP3 1.1MB]

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Corny Video

Post by Mark

You guys have to watch this video, its a patriotic pro american video but its extremely gay! [Link]

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“Real” Jokes

Post by Mark

Just found a link on waxy to a website with jokes that have real endings. Very silly stuff, here are some examples:

How do you drown a blonde?
Hold her head underwater until she can no longer breathe and stops struggling.

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
Repeated absences and stealing.

What’s the difference between the Pope and Michael Jackson?
The Pope is dead.

Why do Mexicans not like going out in the rain?
It’s wet.

What’s worse then finding a worm in your apple?
The Holocaust.

Why was six afraid of seven?
It wasn’t. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

More jokes here.

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StarWars Line

Post by Mark

Turns out there is a group of StarWars fans who are standing in line outside a movie theater in the States.. but the movie won’t be playing at that theater. The movie will be playing at a nearby theater and they were asked to move and stand in line outside that theater but the fans refused. They believe the movie should be played at the theater they are standing outside of and they are determined to stand in line for another month and a half till the movie comes out.. although it wont be playing at that movie theater. [Link]

UPDATE: Read the comments under the article on that site. Really funny..

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Top Ten “you Might Be A Syrian In Lebanon”

Post by Mark

You might be a syrian in lebanon if

10. you spent the last two months hiding in ‘jall mowz ‘ on the outskirts of saida

9. you hang out at the termoss unemployment line with 5000 other guys like you

8. the market for skekeen matbakh in dbayyeh burst like the internet bubble in 2001

7. the syrian you were watching who was watching a lebnese was sent back home

6. you’ve spent the last couple of months training to say “keefak “and “mish heyk?”

5. the last time you remember being so scared, you were still in syria

4. you painted your yellow chevrolet 1956 taxi “cedar green”

3. you get free bus rides from homs to beirut if you agree to carry a lebanese flag

2. the big wasta you had from your sisters husband from korda7a who is a colonel in the syrian airforce is only good to get you a seat on a bus back to sham

1. the last time you earned money was when you showed up at Hizballahs PROSYRIA demonstration in beirut

By Naycola

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