Posted by Fahad AlYehya
Posted by Fahad AlYehya | Core Fitness – Kuwait
This generation’s females are anemic, bulimic, and anorexic. They deny those things ad infinitum, of course, but you can’t really trust anything they say. They think cupcake is a food group.
Because I want to be fair and balanced, I will write this post with my “female” voice. (Yes, I do have a female voice. I keep it locked away safe and sound though. And my female voice is still a beast that will scratch your eyes out. Don’t mess with Lupita, yo!) Take it away Lupita:
75% percent of us are ova’weight, ese!
It sucks to be fat and anemic at the same time; it’s like you’re fat for nothing. Malnutrition here translates into eating junk calories devoid of any essential vitamins and minerals, replaced by traditional wholesome food.
But you told us to satisfy our cravings in moderation, homes!
I worked with women who eat nothing but chocolate, cupcakes, muffins and donuts all day long. Eating desserts and sweets all day moderately is anything but moderate. Eat your 2-3 square meals first and enjoy snacking in between them but in moderation.
Psshhh, wha’eva fatty! I have a high metabolism and I can eat wha’eva ah want.
If only I had a fils for every time I heard that, I’d be able to cross all of Lupita’s 160 cousins over the border. Studies conducted in Kuwait have shown that females between the ages of 14-18 are playing Russian Roulette with high cholesterol levels and diabetes. You don’t have high metabolisms; it’s called skinny fat. A person with a high metabolism looks like an anatomy chart. You look like a skinny stripper with extra jiggle.
Like I could care less what you tink. I’m enjoyin’ life and I’m happy! And my momma tinks I’m too SKINNY!
My mother, Allah bless her heart, is overweight and your mother’s also probably overweight. Mothers should set better examples by teaching their children on how to eat properly. Unfortunately, mothers enjoy dessert and sweet consumption more than their daughters. No one wants to be fat alone, so listen to mommy and have that extra cupcake. With whipped cream. And mango juice. And ice cream. With fondue on the side. Maybe cookies. Screw it, I’m adding in cookies.
OK OK! I get it! Save me from my own demise, papi!
I thought you’d never ask.
Bad Habits Gone Worse
Breakfast: – The majority of females are not breakfast-eating-creatures. They just don’t get hungry in the morning, so they tend to wait a few long hours to break their fast. Aside from slowing down your metabolism and increasing the chances of obesity by 150%, eating late breakfasts only increases hunger for the wrong cravings.
Meal Choices: – If it’s crunchy and looks like it could kill you in a few years, then chances are its being consumed by our female population. They’ll cave in with their cravings, and fast. They’ll skip or decrease wholesome food to make way for a slice of cheesecake or some Garret popcorn that costs more than a 60-day supply of a fat-burner.
Water Consumption: – I often wonder if females ever received the memo where it clearly stated that “water is essential for life”. I always know I’m in for a challenge once a female client says “maybe 1 glass of water every 1-2 days”, “I don’t like it”, or “it tastes bad” and of course “it’ll just make me pee too much”. Not a lot of you females even reach the minimum requirement for water consumption. You eat food with no nutritional value and you skimp on drinking something that clears all those toxins from your body because it’ll bloat and make you urinate a lot. This is how you get Alzheimer’s.
Meal Timing: – Whoever invented dessert should be shot in the head. For the sake of everything that is holy, DO NOT eat sweets right after ANY meal! I’m well aware they’re tempting, but it’s like you’re begging your insulin to be shot into a never ending diabetic frenzy. Snacks have calories too, so just wait 2.5-3 hours and eat your desserts in moderation.
Late Night Pig-Outs: – Females like to late-night splurge in groups of at least 2. The more females gathered, the worse it gets. They always order in extra sweets just to make themselves feel better by saying “hey, it’s not like I ate the whole thing. I’ll just save the leftovers for the starving population of Africa”. Imagine an aerobics class, but instead the actual aerobics you’ve got food, and instead of the hot and fit instructor you’ve got an old ignorant fatty eating her life away one cake at a time.
The Protein Dilemma
Majority of females are not avid protein eaters. They favor the sweet and not the salty. They’ll do anything for some hair growth, nail growth and healthy looking skin, yet fail to realize the important factors proteins play in the growth, repair, recovery and rejuvenation of damaged tissue cells.
Optimal Cell Growth: – You want healthy looking skin, long lucid hair, and nails that would make Wolverine cry in envy? Eat an egg or two for breakfast, 5oz of red meat for lunch and some fish or chicken for dinner. Seriously, how hard is that?
Anemia: – You bleed uncontrollably once a month. You need the nutrients that are derived from protein sources, yet you reach for that Snicker’s bar to get your sugar-fix knowing well that 2-3 banana’s would help you recover faster. Your body will burn off all cells before you go anemic. Cells being burned include hair (hair loss), skin (pale) and nails.
Pregnancy: – For the sake of your offspring, do not short change their health by skimping on nutrients. An anemic pregnant woman is no laughing matter. Children should be active, chubby and smart by the time they reach 2 years of age, not skinny, dazed and easily bruised. You’ll need as much cell growth promoting protein to feed that fetus and not fat-promoting cupcakes.
Metabolic Factors: – Diets that are high in protein and fibrous veggies while low (I said LOW, not NO) in starchy complex carbs are a lot better at ridding fat from the exact stubborn root. Why? Not only does protein consumption provide your metabolism an incredible boost, but it replaces the energy source once used by carbohydrates. Note to Dieticians/Nutritionist/Health Experts: ketogenic diets coupled with healthy fats and fibrous veggies is healthy, risk-free and guaranteed to keep the fat off forever!
The Carbohydrate Conundrum
Females are carbovores.
Didju just call us carb-whores? You don’t even need a billion dollar study to figure that out. All you need is a notepad, a pen or pencil and well-positioned chair at The Chocolate Bar. Every girl aches and tears at the damage that has been done by the oh-so-ill-fated-demise of her carb-dominant life. I’m not telling you to cut them out completely; I’m simply stating that you refrain from eating them alone or overindulging.
Complex Carbs: – Have some multi-grain cereal, some rice, potatoes (even fries) and some whole-wheat bread, but not too much. The “stop eating carbs after 3pm” serves well with women. A bowl of All-Bran with Lactose-Free milk for breakfast, red meat with a cup of rice at lunch and…
Fibrous Veggies: – …a salad and chicken for dinner. Veggies are (are you ready for this?) CARBS! You’re not really low-carbing if you’re eating endless bowls of salad. Surprisingly, not a lot of health experts even recognize this. Minimize complex carbs for fibrous veggies as much as you can, and reap the benefits of a flat and bloat-free stomach. You’ll also fill in all your nutrient deficiencies for calcium, iron, all the B vitamins and vitamin C.
Fruits: – Apart from their nutritious profiles, fruits contain fructose to satisfy your sugar cravings. Moreover, fruits won’t interrupt fat-burning since the majority of them are low-GI. Nothing rejuvenates the female PMSing body more than fruit consumption. Fruits contain just enough sugar to bump up your blood sugar levels from excessive blood loss and electrolytes to aid in optimal blood pressure regulation.
Mix and Match: – I’ve seen a few females eat their carbohydrates alone. Adding in extra ingredients would increase calorie consumption, but would best serve weight-loss goals by keeping you fuller longer. Eating pasta without a side order of grilled chicken or shrimp would only increase pasta consumption. Adding in a protein source would provide better appetite fullness before you decide to order that delicious piece of Apple Fritter.
The Fat Phenomenon
Females are never short of fat consumption.
Ay cabrón! See dis burger? I’m doing dis because you told me I was anemic! Females are short of “essential fatty acid” consumption, the omegas. Oh, you mean seafood? I’ve been eating some of that Essa Maki since like piff, pish, fo’eva! Salmon, tuna, almonds, walnuts, flaxseed and fish oil; 5 foods that contain an abundant amount of essential omegas that contribute to successful and long-lasting fat-loss, tissue repair, hair growth, acne-free skin and joint repair.
Eggs: – Super high in complete protein, eggs contain nutrients that are REQUIRED for living. An egg or two a day will NOT increase LDL cholesterol levels at all. If your reason not to indulge in this protein/fat power food is due to it’s high cholesterol content, then stop it. High LDL levels are due to sugar consumption, not dietary cholesterol. A cookie is not considered a dietary cholesterol source. I eat 3 whole eggs a day, 7 days a week, 30 days a month and 365 days a year. I challenge anyone to a cholesterol blood test.
Fish: – If you can’t handle the stink, then grill or lightly fry your fish. If not, then indulge in some salmon sashimi (semi-raw fish). Fish is lighter than other protein sources and can easily fit in with any carb source. Try to include seafood 3-4 times a week. If not…
Nuts: – ..get in a few raw walnuts into your diet pronto. Nuts also contain essential fatty acids. Include 5-10 walnuts whenever you plan on constructing home made dessert.
Flaxseed: – Flaxseed is considered an alternative remedy for various disorders such as hormonal imbalances, PMS, prenatal or postnatal disorders, menopause and breast cancer. Flaxseed’s also an excellent source of protein and fiber, two things that’ll keep you feeling fuller longer. Ok, bu’ how will dis help me lose deez? *points at waist* Multiple research studies have indicated that including flaxseed in your daily diet can help you manage your weight. Besides controlling your carb cravings by stabilizing your sugar levels, flax expands five times in bulk when ingested. Flax taken half an hour before meals will help you eat less. Opt for Flaxseed oil, granules or soft gels. You said some ting about menstrual cycle? Flaxseed is also used as a guaranteed and natural way to normalize the menstrual cycle, manage menopause, and lower the risk of osteoporosis, cancer and heart disease. Positive effects include fewer cycle changes (your agonizing terrible mood swings), along with a reduction in ovarian dysfunction, which in turn decrease the development of breast and other cancers. As women reach menopause, the level of estrogens in their body decreases, causing an increase in the risk of cardiovascular disease and osteoporosis.
Until Next Time
Part 1 identifies what women are doing wrong. Part 2 will hopefully tackle how woman can do it right.
Posted by Fahad AlYehya | Core Fitness – Kuwait