Al Busal: Car Barking Burglars

Post by Holla


Al Busal posts are 100% fictional, satirical and in no way be taken seriously.

An incident was recorded in a famous shopping mall in the Fahaheel area last night as two locals and their wives fought over a disabled parking spot, causing them both grievous bodily harm and permanent disabilities. A report was filed for two counts, including illegal theft and occupancy of disabled parking and fighting.

The concerned authorities were dispatched over the bloody row and arrived to find both parties had been fighting with sticks, egals, handbags and slippers until passers-by intervened and stopped the fighting by immediately brandishing guns and shooting in the air until the situation was under control. A small boy was injured nearby by a stray bullet but was treated by emergency services and only suffered minor injuries along with no sight in his right eye.

The standoff occurred when one side claimed to have more right to park in the spot due to their significant other being too heavy to walk too much and needed the close spot. The other local denied the claim by the first party stating that it was “impossible” since his wife was for sure heavier because “she just eat dinner”, the argument then escalated to dangerous levels.

Authorities are issuing serious warnings to all citizens that disability parking theft has increased to alarming levels since the beginning of this year and the only-serious offenders will face major penalties that include a stern talk and a possible KD5 fine for locals, while expats will receive a 2 year jail sentence and deportation for this heinous crime.

Post by Holla

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37 comments, add your own...

  1. Ali says:

    Is this a joke? It would be perfect for April 1st.

  2. sulaiman-COOKIEEEE says:

    oh god not this again…

  3. Dun says:

    only suffered minor injuries along with no sight in his right eye. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

  4. M says:

    “two locals and their wives fought over a disabled parking spot” I like the mention of nationality. we all know how skilled expats are in driving and road courtesy.

  5. Kuwait says:

    Was just about to ask Mark today about when Holla and the Busal posts return!!

    And btw, this incident is as close as possible to reality :D

  6. Umair Shaikh says:

    ” the only-serious offenders will face major penalties that include a stern talk and a possible KD5 fine for LOCALS”


  7. Anonymous says:

    1. Since when did guns become legal to fire anywhere just to calm down a situation? And in such case, over a dispute against parking? Such irresponsible behavior could be fatal. Luckily the boy survived. But lost his eye sight in the right? How?

    2. Differences/Discrimination:
    a)There is discrimination all over this country. Shouldn’t they impose laws & regulations equally to all instead of differentiating them between locals & expats. Where is the humanity here?
    b)Another topic was about banning expats from bidding farewell to their families/friends at the airport. Shouldn’t they do the same for locals if they really concerned about traffic?
    c)Renting of private rooms in hospitals for locals is KD 3/- & for expats is KD 15/-? How are locals any different from expats? Aren’t we all humans?
    d)They wanna impose tax on expats just that the money stays in. how does that make any difference? If they really wanna do something, they have to do something about their tourism. For e.g. Avenues is the only touristic destination in Kuwait as you mentioned in one of your articles.

    3. Parking is a major issue. Had there been a provision in every place even in the residential areas, traffic would have been sorted a bit. Link this to one of the articles you published with regard to parking in Kuwait City & the number of cars moving in for work.

    4. Increasing rents of flats while the salaries are low. Another note the rooms provided today are stuffy. Compare the flats from now & the ones during the 90’s along with the rents.

    The above mentioned is just that someone wakes up & makes the changes & make Kuwait a better place to live in instead of complaining & blaming their problems on expats.

  8. Ipsom says:

    That first sentence really made me laugh

  9. Abrar says:

    Put the “This story is fictitious” part right at the top instead of the bottom. Most people do not read till the bottom haha

    • Mark says:

      Yeah I think I might have to do that

    • Mathai says:

      No no! Leave the disclaimer at the bottom. I love how people circulate this stuff on Whatsapp like its real. A guy I know sent a picture from this blog of the melted traffic lights saying it happened in the summer of 2016 during a heat wave. Priceless!

      • Mark says:

        i just moved the disclaimer to the top. when you visit the onion the whole website is satirical so you expect the stories not to be real. in my case the blog is all real so you wouldn’t expect a post to be satirical. so people are actually getting pissed thinking its real and then finding out its fake. disclaimer is right on top now so maybe everyone can have a sense of humor now.

        • Dun says:

          Its still very subtle. I think even less people will notice that disclaimer now. Make it red and flashing and double the font. And remember the immortal words of George Carlin: “Think of how stupid the average guy is, then realize that half the world is even stupider than him.”

  10. Mimi says:

    Well, since pretty much anything goes here in Kuwait, I believed this till I read the last line!

  11. Cajie says:

    Missed these posts. This is a real gem from Holla.

  12. GoogleIt says:

    Would be nice to do it weekly, gave me a good gig

  13. MisterStretch says:

    I was laughing at the women’s supposed “disability”. Maybe if they parked farther away some of that excess meat would be worked off.

  14. meh says:

    I can’t find this in the newspaper???

  15. MHz says:

    only suffered minor injuries along with “no sight in his right eye” …. that cracked me up

  16. Union Jack says:

    With bated breath have I been waiting patiently for the return of one of Holla’s compositions. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for the laughs Mr. Holla… my day is now content and complete.

  17. Rajesh Gandhi says:

    There is a difference between Barking (as the dog does) and Parking) as you do with the car)

  18. george says:

    LMAO…”no sight in his eye” part.

    I guess readers have been exposed to this kind of similar “Barking” fits/fights, in the media, so can’t blame them for thinking it’s real.

    Great piece of writing, Holla!

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