Al Busal: Eid’s Slaughter Day Prompts Q8vegans Dismay

Post by Holla


SALMIYA 13/9/2016 – A locals group of misguided young men and loose girls with a membership to a questionable Facebook group by the name of “Q8VVIPvegan” took to the streets early this morning to protest what they called the Holocaust of sheeps” during the the first day of the occasion of Eid al Adha.

The so called activists had chosen the highly strategic MCD seafront branch to commence their wild public stunt. The location was carefully chosen to send a strong anti-meat eating message delivered in defiance of the new tasty eid promotion called the McMachboos. Their dastardly aim was to shake the very foundations of our peaceful and loving tradition of systemic mass animal slaughter and consumption.

The group launched their attack using a variety of underhanded tactics to defend their cause such as arming themselves with painfully colourful signs depicting filthy animals such as LOLcats spouting strange subliminal phrases including: “sheepz r my frnd, why can u haz kills it? :( “. The group would also blare out a recording of their campaign slogan “This eid save your floos, don’t buy a sheeps just for machboos” on their iPhones.

Immediately forces were dispatched to protect innocent civilians from the radical group. Following the lengthy standoff that lasted well over 30 minutes. By lunch time the group’s spirits were broken and the volatile situation finally reached its boiling point as it was nearing 1pm, time for midday rest. The incoming sleeplessness was impossible to shake.

The dangerous activists were easily disarmed using a special forces tactic of preparing a heavy meal that induced quick sedation and enabled the forces to control the group. The now weary and defeated youth were apprehended and sent home tired and bloated after strong words from the authorities, bringing shame to their families’ good names and the heavy burden of society’s tainted look towards them.

The threat was contained and peace was once again fully restored thanks to the efforts of the concerned authorities. The law prevailed yet again to the dismay of all the wrong doers that only wish harm upon our proud society.

Post by Holla

Al Busal posts are 100% fictional, satirical and in no way be taken seriously.

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16 comments, add your own...

  1. blarney_Bob says:

    the numerous grammatical errors and misuse of punctuation marks (or lack thereof), makes reading this “piece” an ordeal :-P

    • Khaled says:

      That’s the point; it’s satirical of Arab Times’ poor punctuation and grammar. Like you, when I read that trash, it’s an ordeal.

      If you knew that and “whoosh” over my head, this one felt like it was trying too hard; it didn’t have the easy flow of the last one, taking away from the funnies.

    • Grammar police says:

      Grammatical errors like your lack of capitalized first letter of your comment?

  2. Eissa says:

    The Mcmachboos would be nice though!

  3. Jamal Mohammed Alawadhi says:

    Stupid punks

  4. aceboy44 says:

    These posts are getting ridiculous…….

    “Al Busal posts are 100% fictional, satirical and in no way be taken seriously.”

    What a waste of my time.

  5. Fawaz says:

    Well done Authorites ! Rid us of such radical groups that are not required in our glorious and proud society ! I endorse meat consumption ! It is the way of nature ! Hooorah !

  6. Union Jack says:

    Very, very funny Mr. Holla! In fact, I found this composition the most humorous of all articles you have submitted, as of yet.

    ….the Holocaust of sheeps” during the the first day….

    …our peaceful and loving tradition of systematic mass animal slaughter and consumption.

    These two lines really made me laugh like a muther fucker. Keep it up, please.

  7. Yousef says:

    Is the Kuwait Times a better option of the Arab Times? They just called me this week asking if I’d do a KD35 renewal, to which I said no thanks. “Why not?,” the man on the other line prodded.

  8. Machiavelli says:

    You know what? I wouldn’t be surprised nowadays. Seeing a group of vegan nutters protesting against meat eating on Al Eid Al Adha isn’t that far fetched tbh.

  9. mungee says:

    Vegans!! They steal food from vegetarian animals!

    Better to kill animals quickly than to starve them to death, yes? :P

  10. Passing by says:

    That sounded an aweful lot like what I sound like in my head. So glad I’ve got flowery speech filters installed. Reading it was enjoyable in a worst-nightmare-come-true way. The grammer nazis, you got the point right? Now get a life.

  11. Just says:

    Anyone get that whatsapp msg with the picture of the girl protesting ? Apparently she is the daughter of the Deputy Director of the Cattle and Livestock Slaughterhouse State Department.

    It was big news. Her father is quite upset and is now being questioned about him knowing anything about this.

  12. Kuwait says:

    Believe it or not, there’s a new piece in the Kuwait Times today called “Dude, where’s my car”:

  13. ahmad says:

    i didint understand anything. wtf llol

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