I have been reading about the controversy behind the website ChuckNorrisFacts.com and Chuck Norris for the past week but I only just now checked the Chuck Norris Facts and I have to say they are hilarious! When I was back in university me and my best friend started spreading a rumor around campus that Chuck Norris was coming to Lebanon to do a concert so it was fun reading stuff other people made up. Check it out, my favorite is “If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.” [Link]
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6 replies on “Chuck Norris Facts”
hehehe chuck norris is a total monkey
love the beard dude!
lol!!
Chuck Norris has two speeds walk and KILL! hehehehe
Its been going nuts the past couple of months.. I seem em all over forums! hahahaha
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
these chuck norris jokes have been making the rounds on the internet for a few weeks now, i am already sick of them. google steven segal also for more of this shit.
chuck norris vs steven segal dude OMG.
What if Chuck Norris was a DJ?
Got this off of psyreviews.com, the guy has talent…
Chuck Norris does not beatmatch – the tunes automatically change their tempo’s out of respect.
Chuck Norris will never copy a CD off you. If he wants it, he takes it. You thank him. And then you buy another one.
Chuck Norris does not trade unreleased music. Unreleased music trades Chuck Norris.
If you buy drugs off Chuck Norris, they will be stronger drugs. The drugs do this out of respect.
Chuck Norris doesn’t dance. He fights in time to the music.
Chuck Norris doesn’t need headphones. If the mix goes tits up, everybody is too scared to say anything.
Chuck Norris doesn’t appear on any flyers because anything with his name on will destroy the machines used to print the flyers.
Chuck Norris does his own decor, while DJing for hours, doing visuals on up to seven screens, while also working at the bar, on the door, and shagging an israeli bird up the arse in the gents.
Chuck Norris doesn’t go to the toilet behind the decks while doing a 19-hour marathon set. He pisses on the crowd, who are thankful.
Chuck Norris once removed some smegma from his penis. Six months later, this smegma had released an album.
Chuck Norris does not take LSD, he generates it inside his brain whenever there is nothing else to do.
Chuck Norris does not use effects on the Pioneer DJM600. He telepathically warps the music by staring at it in a threatening manner.
Chuck Norris does not go to parties. Parties go to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not mix in a new tune on the 32. The hihats rearrange themselves out of respect.