Today is going to be a day of complaining on the blog. I don’t think I’ve ever been so pessimistic about the future of Kuwait as I have been recently. From roads that are a total mess to laws that don’t make any sense. And then when you have serious issues, nothing gets done about it.
Last week the popular local instagrammer Ascia got harassed while leaving her office on the way to her car. She was clearly shaken up and posted an emotional story on her Instagram about what had happened. Women getting harrassed by men is such a common occurrence in Kuwait it’s become the norm. There isn’t a single girl I know who hasn’t been harassed and it happens all the time.
Women get harassed at malls, universities, in parking lots, at work, everywhere basically, and nothing ever gets done about it. But now a bunch of popular instagrammers are going vocal about the issue and hopefully, people will finally listen to them.
Other than Ascia, the popular luxury footwear designer Najeeba Hayat (@liudmilahq) has been very vocal about harassment sharing stories by other women on her account. Local illustrators like @wadaniart and @coffeeandcastoffs have also posted about the problem and the movement seems to be gaining traction. An instagram account was set up called Lan Asket (@lan.asket) which translates into “I won’t stay quiet” which has been posting stories of harrasment in both English and Arabic.
Men can help too. Anytime you see a form of harassment taking place get involved. I witness a lot of cases of harassment on the Gulf Road and anytime I see it happening, I usually pull up behind the guy and start flashing my high beams and honking the horn until he drives off.
Knowing how things are in Kuwait I’m not very optimistic something will be done about this. Like I mentioned in my previous post, they usually implement new rules or laws, enforce them heavily for two weeks and then forget about them. It’s sad really, but hopefully, I’m wrong.
What do you think needs to be done? What would help this issue? What can men do to support this cause? I’m interested in what people think about this subject. Have you been harassed before? Share your story.
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87 replies on “Harassment in Kuwait”
Hopeful that Kuwaiti women will succeed and even grow this movement and spread it to Gulf and even Arab countries.
Oh come on! This is rampant! Not only women but also men!! It has become a culture. Harassment in all form and nobody has ever complain.
When i was 14 i was harassed by a guy in a grand marquis. Im a guy as well…
Well sadly its a common issue, I have witnessed it many many times. At the end they blame the women for wearing provocative outfits but … no I have witnessed all type of girls getting harassed by idiots. I really do feel bad for them, as they cannot enjoy a meal at a restaurant or coffee with their friends without having to go through this crap.
But should you get involved? With the recent rise in stabbing incidents I wouldn’t want to, to be honest. I encourage them to be vocal and to document these harassment and call the police. I know probably wont work for most but yeah… that’s Kuwait sadly. And I do share your pessimistic view…
I fully support this movement, however, I sincerely hope it will encourage the protection of all women, not just Kuwaiti women but also expats, especially Asian women who are harassed every single day, being called names, being insulted for the nationality, cars swerving close to female pedestrians to scare them, being followed, lewd offers and comment, and many other forms of harassment of sexual nature, etc.
It really doesn’t help the movement that many (and I mean many) girls go out in groups in cars on the gulf road with the intention of being pursued. I know, I am a young woman and I have many friends that do this. I have even gone out with them a couple of times, and while it might all seem like fun and games, the reality is we help enable and entrench this behavior. This doesn’t only happen on the road, I know friends who compete on a weekend at a mall how many phone numbers they get. Some even call the numbers and string the guys on to get freebies. It takes two to tango, and a a lot of us women here do tango. There is no solution to this problem. This being a conservative country doesn’t increase or decrease the harassment, it just makes it different. I’ve been flashed at clubs in NYC and Chicago. I’ve been groped in Dubai. I’ve only ever been followed in Kuwait.
Don’t speak for all women, I don’t know a SINGLE woman in Kuwait who humors this. How does it take ‘2 to tango’ when the majority of the time the women are not at all interested and are actively trying to get away? Even if there are women who respond occasionally, they are the minority and this still doesn’t explain the incessant chasing when women clearly try and escape. The men chasing are the issue, not the few women who humor it. Maybe you’ve ‘only been followed’ – not to mention that this is at high speeds on busy roads making it incredibly dangerous – but plenty of women have had it way worse due to the lack of awareness on harassment and sense of safety to report. Do you even realize that people have died because of this? That women clearly try and get away and are still chased? How is that tangoing? This isn’t even the only way women are harassed in Kuwait, it’s a serious problem that shouldn’t be discounted or belittled. Do better.
I’m doing just fine. Maybe you should do better. Yes plenty of girls do it, particularly in the age group of 18-22. Yes its a minority of all women, but if something works 1 out 10 times it is enough to entrench the idea that this works. Do you think if that worked 0% of the time any man would do it (well probably yes, but it wouldn’t be as prevalent). Yes following people on the road is dangerous and yes its scary, but compared to being groped or flashed its much better. Yes some women experience worse, but that almost exclusively filipino/asian women, and although that is absolutely unacceptable, it has more to do with entrenched racism and failure to enforce laws by all levels of enforcement. So how about you do better, and try to understand the point of taking two to tango. Doesn’t mean you are tangoing if you get followed, just means that a minority of your sisters tango, and that’s a big part of the problem. Don’t bother replying to me, I will not entertain this argument further. Do better is the most condescending phrase I can think of, and if Mark wouldn’t censor my answer I would have a few choice words for you.
Your comment is so severely misinformed and ludicrous that it’s almost comical. You “know” girls who go down Gulf Road looking for attention. So what? If women want attention, that’s up to them. If they don’t want attention, that’s up to them. No means no. Women are not the property of ANY man.
Any more platitudes you care to regurgitate at me?
Oh good, I’m glad it got your attention. By focusing your entire argument on the role of women, not on the actual issue of men harassing, you’re feeding into the entire cycle of a) normalizing this and b) making women second guess if they do want to report. It’s people like you that make them worried they’ll be blamed or second guessed, “You must have encouraged it”, “you must have looked at him”, “what were you wearing” etc. I’ll reply to whatever I want – this is too big of an issue to let ridiculous commentary snub real change. I’m assuming you don’t have actual data regarding the demographics of who’s harassed – which is such a redundant and idiotic thing to even bring up – so don’t make sweeping assumptions that it isn’t closer to home. Do. Better.
She’s not wrong. Half the girls in my class at AUM do this. It was a lot the topic of conversation in break between classes and it was like a competition. I have not seen them since the covid last year but I dont think they stopped. Also like reddacted I joined one time eventhough I was very unhappy but my friend was dropping me off and I cannot just get out of the car.
I totally get that this may be a habit among some, but ‘Half the girls in my class at AUM’ is not representative of the entire female population of Kuwait and is a minority group. The issue being discussed here is women being chased and harassed with unwanted male attention, if you read the stories on the Lan Asket IG or comments below you’ll see that this is happening to a lot of women, even if they’re clearly not interested nor single (including when they have their kids in the car with them). This is what is really dangerous and needs to stop – whether on the road or in the malls – everywhere. I don’t blame you for being uncomfortable in that situation, I certainly would be too. Let’s hope things change soon.
It doesn’t matter if a 100 girls do it. If they want the attention, that’s their call. But the minute 1 woman says no, and still gets pursued, that’s harassment. It doesn’t matter how many women wanted a particular guy to chase them. If even one woman says no to him, he needs to back off – that’s the point.
This is the entire point. It does not matter that many girls want the attention, it matters that those who don’t have to put up with this crap, and it is somehow “to be expected” because, oh well, some girls like it. SO WHAT?? Yes a few people accept drugs or alcohol offered on the street, should we accept that being offered and teased about this becomes the norm, “because some people accept”? Come on…
“Takes 2 to tango” is one of the dumbest things I’ve read regarding sexual harassment. Just because you have friends that take advantage of desperate men, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to improve society for the majority of other women. Is my wife supposed to get used to getting stared at everywhere she goes in Kuwait, or followed by men walking through a mall? Just because sexual harassment happen in other countries, doesn’t mean we should sit back and do nothing. You’re honestly belittling a very serious issue just because you’re cool with it.
There is a solution, the government needs to take this issue seriously, create programs, initiatives and educate men and women (like you). Harassment in general will never completely go away (like any other negative aspect of society), but we can try to decrease the frequency it happens.
Belittling an issue because I am identifying part of the problem…. wow… Also where did I say that just because it happens in other places we have to accept it here. I am just saying that what happens here is milder than what happens in other places, because people in the comments seem to think that Kuwait is the most dangerous place for women. It shouldn’t be accepted here or anywhere. It is a problem. It is horrible situation. And yes, women who tango are a BIG part of that problem.
“Part of the problem”? The problem isn’t women who welcome attention. The problem is guys who don’t understand “no”. Please think about what you’re identifying as the issue.
Women do like validation, and compliments. It’s true. Harassment is extreme form of unwanted attention. Best thing is to treat people with respect. It’s a beautiful women yes but not yours and not a piece of meat, there is a person here. How would you like a strange man to treat your sister.
Oh my goodness. I can not believe you said ‘it takes two to tango’. I’m married and have children and I still get followed AND groped HERE in Kuwait. Trust me, I do NOT want the attention. I get followed when I’m with my children! Is that ‘taking two to tango?’ I’m kuwaiti and I have been harassed both physically and verbally since I was a teenager, it’s gotten so much worse now. You are obviously very young and have so much more to learn in life. Btw I don’t know any women that go and chase men, that doesn’t mean they don’t exist, but they aren’t in my circle of friends. My circle of friends and my self do NOT want to be chased or touched. Your mentality is the problem we face here, but I believe once you’re older and have children of your own that are teens, you’ll most likely change your thought process.
Ah yes, the typical “blame the woman for her harassment” excuse.
Kindly shut tf up
The amount of harassment I’ve personally endured as a woman in Kuwait is absurd. Whether I’m in my car minding my own business, and a car would swerve inches away from my car to get my attention or even driving in front of me then pressing on the breaks so I would end up crashing into them. I can’t walk a few meters from my car to a clinic, pharmacy, supermarket without being cat-called or honked at. I can’t exercise/walk in public places without the fear of being chased or harassed. And we can’t seem to do anything to protect ourselves or else things will get uglier for us. We can’t talk back, we can’t film them, we can’t use pepper spray..
One of the stories shared on lan.asket was about a women who go beat up and cussed at because she filmed her harasser.
And no, we are not asking to be harassed because of the makeup or clothes we wear or because we decided to walk by the sea. Why can’t everyone mind their own business and let us live in an environment where we feel safe and protected? Why can’t we believe women when we say we’ve were harassed and stop blaming us for it?
I’m glad everyone’s been talking about this issue and taking it to social media to spread the word. I think it’s time for Kuwait to enforce laws to protect all women and men, and enforce strict punishments for anyone who breaks the law.
Thank you Mark for posting about this and I hope we see change very soon.
I feel safer walking alone at 3 am in a foreign city than I do walking in daylight in Kuwait. The amount of harassment here is disgusting and disappointing. 🙁
Just blame it on the expats and carry on (don’t ask the logic). Works every time (sadly though)…
Word !
OMG! who are all these women in the comments above claiming to not be able to be able walk a few meters from their car to a clinic, pharmacy, supermarket without being cat-called or honked at, not being able exercise/walk in public places without the fear of being chased or harassed.
They should understand that this overexaggerating wont help anyone!
While we can believe that there are these thugs everywhere, these ladies are making it out to be a jungle out there! We all live in exactly the same city/ country and we do have our eyes and ears open and can easily tell that its not THAT bad
How bad does it have to get?
It’s not an over exaggeration. It happens to my wife, her friends and co-workers. Maybe some women over-exaggerate, but the frequency women get harassed here or followed, or stared at on a daily basis.
Listen to women, stop doubting them just because you don’t see it or experience it (and you’re a dude).
Who are you to say that women are over exaggerating? You don’t know what they’ve experienced in their personal lives. I’ve been harassed while walking my dog. I’ve gotten stares from and whistled at by men on their way to the mosque for prayers. I don’t live in fear of being harassed, but that doesn’t mean others don’t. They may live in an area where it’s more common. Your comment reeks of ignorance and misogyny.
Where do you get off saying these women are exaggerating?! Your comment is a clear indication that you have never been on the receiving end and its people like you who just stand and observe and do nothing but just blame women for everything. If you don’t want to support women, that’s fine but don’t disregard them when they speak up!
My wife would disagree with you (see below). This is the only country in the world where she didn’t feel safe going out on her own.
Question: Are you a woman yourself?
If not, please shut the fuck up.
Maybe the article below will enlighten you on what I mean when I say “I can’t exercise/walk in public places without the fear of being chased or harassed.” Check the article dated January 13th, 2021 of a father who got stabbed by two men who were harassing his 13 year old daughter in Mishref! Who’s exaggerating??
Here’s a link in Arabic: https://www.al-tagheerpress.com/news6987.html
Here’s a link in English: https://www.arabtimesonline.com/news/pesterers-held-for-stabbing-girls-father/
Lol try reading ur comment again mate and now imagine if ur mum or sister was the one complaining about this issue. Would ur stupid opinion still remain unchanged ?
Yes!!! Finally people are talking about this. I’ve had instances where men have pulled up next to me at a red light, rolled down their window and tried to chat me up. When I’ve made it really clear I’m not interested (ignoring, being polite and telling them I’m married) I’ve twice been followed to my destination and been made to feel really scared. This has happened while I’ve had my kids in the car with me. It is terrifying.
Kuwait is one of the safest countries I’ve lived in, BUT harassment IS an issue. On one occasion, I was heavily, uncomfortably pregnant (9 months) walking from my car to the Sultan Centre with my elderly mother (both covered – hijab and abaya) – the last thing on our minds was attracting male attention and we were harassed by a group of men! It’s really ridiculous.
The problem is NOT women, the problem is that some men think that women anywhere (but in the home) are a provocation and “fair game”. It’s a shameful and disgusting attitude that needs to change. I’m not a psychologist, but my guess is that they haven’t developed deep, loving and respectful relationships with the women in their lives and therefore don’t regard women as equals or deserving of respect.
Even if a woman is not dressed in a way that is deemed “appropriate” it doesn’t justify such harassment – ever!! These boys need to learn to act like men and have some self-restraint and control. If they can’t – they are the ones who should not leave the home!
Very well said.
Mate, I’m a guy and I’ve been harassed, I don’t understand
A lot of guys here can’t pull a woman, So they switch teams haha
Wow Thanks for posting this. I am a dude but even I find it ridiculous that women feel unsafe when they go outside alone without any male accompanying them.
2 years ago, My grandmother who is 70 now called me to come quickly to the nearby grocery shop because she was being followed by a guy. And I am not saying she is not attractive but she looks pretty old and For her to not feel safe at that age was very sad.
I think the guys here don’t get and lot and therefore they are thirsty af. I don’t get any myself but you won’t see me behaving like that lol.
No women of any age feel safe. Something needs to change
It’s really terrible
However, has any lady tried calling 112 when being harassed, and asking for some sort of help? I think maybe that will help, at least a bit?
Lol cops harass us too. There have been countless times when a cop has pulled me over for no real reason (I distinctively remember one time because I didn’t use my blinkers to turn right) and “playfully” threaten me with “sajlay raqmi aw ra7 akhalfech”.
I’m sick of it. My husband is stuck in Vietnam due to Covid, so I go out alone during the daytime only. Yesterday I tried the Friday market and was disgusted at the glaring and comments passed. I wore a long coat with no makeup on purpose. But it’s even worse for a foreigner. Best is to avoid eye contact at all times. Have a miserable look on your face, even when you enjoy seeing all the interesting things at the market. It was not a nice experience at all.
Enforced segregation between the genders is part of the problem not the solution to sexual harassment. There is every indication Kuwait is going the Italian way.
Expect a typical Kuwait neighborhood to feel like Rome or Milan where eavesteasing is almost a social tradition. Also I refuse to believe it is a new phenomenon. Whereas before the invasion, it was predominantly expat women who were subject to harassment, latterly even first class Kuwaiti citizens are experiencing the ugly beast of harassment from uncouth, ill bred and more importantly ill read youth.
Goosebumps while watching her video. I feel you, Girl. I hope the gulf will do something about this. Yes many women have been harrassed specially Asians living in the gulf. FILIPINOS, NEPALIS, BHUTANS, KOREANS, CHINESE, JAPANESE. More harrassed than any other nationality. BUT does anyone care??? Does arabs care about it? nope. they were women who stay silent because its not their homeland.
It’s an interesting topic. My wife and two daughters are currently out of Kuwait and my wife is refusing to come back. She has many issues in Kuwait but this is one of them. She always felt uncomfortable ever going out on her in own in our area (Mangaf) because she felt stared at and objectified by the local, almost completely and exclusively batchelor male, population.
Even my 4 year old daughter was a victim.
We were in the sea front in Fahaheel one day, and my daughters are both blonde and cute. My daughters are usually very much loved and welcomed in a completely natural way which is innocent and nice compared with the west. However, on his particular day, two men pulled up in the car park and asked if they could take a photo of my daughter. This often happens, so we saw nothing wrong it it. Until he pulled her into his car, sat her on his lap, and started snogging her full on on the lips, whilst his friend took photos 🙁 we were horrified, she was crying, and we managed to pull her out of the car.
I’m currently trying to get my wife back and she is reluctant (many other issues, not just this). But I am surprised it happens in the Gulf Road; I thought it was kind of restricted to down her in Mangaf.
It is very very sad 🙁
oh my lord! I am so sorry that happened to your family and especially your daughter! That is absolutely unacceptable and I hope you and your family are doing well
OMG! so sorry to hear this. poor kid. I hope she isn’t traumatized. These animals are everywhere pls always careful of your daughter
From my personal experience, I’ve been harassed by women and men.
Women would be following me through the mall and even follow me into a store, sometimes they would even try to take a photo of me on their phone! And most of them they would be laughing and giggling like idiots just to get my attention.
And sometimes men would make fun of my hair or how I dress or start screeching/howling something in Arabic that was directed at me. This one time around 2009, my mother and I were waiting for a taxi, and then two guys guy in a car stopped in front of us and one of them tried to get my mother’s attention, and we immediately left and went inside a bakery nearby, and then shortly after, that same attention-seeking guy came inside the bakery, looking like he was trying to harass again, but then he was acting like he was trying to buy something, and then my mother and I quickly left the place. I can’t remember if we walked back home (because this did happen on a street we used to live on) or if we found a taxi after. That whole experience was so frightening, because what idiot tries to get someone’s attention when they’re with their child??!
Lastly, this other time, I was at TSC Sharq, packing my items at the cashier when some random guy started to record me on their phone, and I think I remember my mother yelling at that guy, and that guy was just laughing to himself like it’s funny/no big deal to record someone packing their groceries. Then somebody at the customer service desk announced on the PA calling for security, and I don’t remember what happened next, but I think my mother and I quickly left. Strangely enough, another similar experience like that happened at TSC Salmiya. The period between 2008-2012 was practically a nightmare to be walking outside, and most of these incidents happened in daytime.
Just recounting these events have already made me upset, but I’m telling them here to remind people that it’s not only just women who face harassment.
Sadly this is such a common occurrence and sometimes it can be a scary experience. I’ve had plenty which I’m sure is the norm for most women. I’ve been followed while in my car countless times. Once when I was going back to my car, a guy who was following me blocked my car door from being opened because he wanted to talk to me. Another time I was minding my business and I wasted past a group of teenage boys and one of them called me a bitch. Literally for no reason. It’s awful.
oh boy, harassment stories… I’ve been dealing with nightmares for the past 3 years because of all the harassment I’ve experienced here. It started from when I was 11-12.
Being catcalled, being groped, being stared at, being followed, having men in cars slow down and offer me money. I can’t go anywhere in peace. It doesn’t matter if I’m with my mom or dad or both. It doesn’t matter if I’m wearing shorts–the worst experience of my life was when I was in a thick hoodie and jeans. I was 14 and clearly a child.
I’m always afraid to do anything because of the risk of violence. When I moved to Salmiya I was thrilled at the aspect of getting to jog in the garden regularly, but I eventually stopped after the harassment.
I’m 17 now, and patiently waiting to leave after school. I love Kuwait deeply, I was born and brought up here, and I have always wanted to give back to this country, but I’ve grown sick of being afraid.
I don’t think this will change unless men step up to stop other men. For that there needs to be education. But what’s the point when most men won’t even believe the frequency of harassment? This is clear just in the comments here.
I’m a Kuwaiti man with three sisters. I’m the youngest and only male in the family. It is beyond unbelievable that I have had three situations in the span of 6 months of 2 of my sisters having to call me because they were put in a situation where they felt they need help. Now mind you one of these situations was at my sisters workplace. Another fact is that shes a heart surgeon. Now imagine having a family member of a person who’s life was just saved by you through major heart surgery, come and harass you and having the audacity of touching them. Another situation was in the co op where my sister was getting diapers for her baby. Three cars closed her off and she was forced to lock her self in her car and call me because i was nearest. After calling the cops and confronting them one of them raised a knife at me.
So my question to the people whom are anti harassment laws, please enlighten me, how is this the females fault? How can I as a brother feel like at any moment my sister can be harassed? How is it the women’s fault that even when she is on your dumb standards (m7tshma) do men still harass?
Wake up kuwait!!!! This is basic human rights. These are our mothers, sisters, daughters.
If your argument is ( She needs to dress appropriately that what Allah said) then Allah also ordered us men to lower our gaze. So miss me with that redundant argument.
Harassment of any kind is uncalled for. Let’s start with that. And no, women are not asking for it and it certainly isn’t our fault. There have been instances when a car has swerved too close to me on the Gulf Road just to get my attention while my kids have been clearly visible in the back. Sometimes, they just keep pace with me, changing lanes when I change lanes. It’s harmless, but annoying. I’ve been followed in the parking lot of a mall once too because someone wanted my number and yes, again I had my kids with me. Why are kids not a deterrant? Age isn’t a barrier either!
But even though the above has happened to me, I’ve always (this might sound strange), felt safe here in Kuwait. I don’t think twice about driving home alone in the wee hours of the morning or having to walk alone across a dark ground.
Male here, I’ve been sexually harrassed, bullied, and abused in high school, none the less a rape attempt also by my best friend in high school. I ended up with PTSD at 21 because the bullying didn’t stop in college.
And if anyone wants to ask if I’m gay. I’m not, it just sucks that people can’t let other people live their lives.
The culture is ruthless, I’d rather live in a cave alone at this point.
Hi dear. I hope you are okay. And please don’t let them bully you and don’t let them affect you. Please stay strong. There’s so many good people in the world.
Don’t let your bullies get to you, they want to see you broken, don’t give it to them. Live the best life you could, enjoy every moment of it, as they say, “The best form of revenge is living a good life.” Sorry you had to go through all that, I just hope you’re able to bounce back stronger this time around.
I get you man. Male here, lived in Kuwait 25 years and have a very smiliar experience. Two of my male friends WERE raped – one kidnapped and taken out into the desert.
Do stay alive – and realise that you are not alone, even in misery, there is solidarity.
2 words. Martial Arts ! Do it, practice it, put your spouse in it, put your kids in it. Stop being a victim. It stops bullying dead in its tracks
Well sure I would like to intervene, but I also don’t want to be stabbed.
Well, I’m a woman and I have got to admit, we do play some part in all this harassment.
Most of the women in my class (+70%) enjoy the attention and thrive in competing to garner most phone numbers from their male counterparts. Heck, I have 3 friends that have 3+ bfs lol
Women in your class and your friends are not the majority of the population, you smelly egg. Just because your friends and your wack statistic enjoy the attention, it doesn’t mean the rest of the population does. AND just because your friends and your wack statistic enjoy the attention, it does NOT mean that “we” play a part in all this harassment. You are soooo wack for this. I pray you never get harassed to the point where it scars you for life.
I am a man and got harassed, should I worry or it’s just the norm around here.
it’s not a question about
– harassment because its everywhere since the dawn of time
– it takes two (jesus, ladies stop being triggered!)
it’s a question about how to handle harassment
develop poise, self confidence, a few choice words, a devious plan to have them follow you at a police station, or else fails a stiff upper cut and a savage kick to the balls
sorry, but the men and women who complain most about being harassed need a few therapy sessions and karate classes – gesss
create a unified hashtag and make a logo for the movement. print them on pins so people can wear them; spread awareness for the cause.
Ah, the thing no one wants to talk about. I suspect harassment is seen as some sort of pasttime/hobby here. I can’t tell you the amount of times men have made me uncomfortable by staring at me, following me by car, or stalking me in the mall.
For the I’m not a beautiful woman nor wear any tight make-up or tight clothing. I’m not signalling any interest.
On the other hand, like people commenting above I went a few times with groups of girls who enjoyed that kind of male attention and would deliberately egg the boys into following them.
I think only awareness to both men and woman might have a chance of changing this kind of unhealthy behaviour.
Back when I was in school, we’d have to walk to and from tuitions as my folks were at work. On the way, walking with my girls, it was a common sight to have men flash us and feel themselves up while watching us walk and eat samosas. The first time this happened, I was in Grade 4 – early learning on what Exhibitionists are at an age it just wasn’t necessary to.
When we used to get back home from school by bus, we used to wait till kids got into the building/lifts because random men used to get in with them and molest them so we made sure to keep a watch out – boys, girls – made no difference.
Another incident was when we were doing up the flooring in our house and the men were fixing the flooring and I was standing behind them and he reaches out to squeeze my breast, mid-work.
All this has led to me to always have a handy pen-knife on hand (Big sprays of perfume also work as quick get-away weapons – aim for the eyes) and learn how to defend myself, you know, just in case I have to go ALONE to the bakala to buy Khaboos and get hit on along the way – another handy habit was if someone stops their car too close to you, gather as much phlegm and saliva as you can and cough in their faces… worked every time and I believe would work even better in this day and age…
The question is, why is this movement only about sexual harassment towards women? Harassment comes in all shapes and forms here. Expats deal with it on a daily basis. Even locals. Men AND women. They’re harassed over parking spaces, giving a “wrong” look, driving on the road, at cashier registers at the mall, and lately so far as getting stabbed! Stabbing cases over parking spaces have escalated lately too. Men towards women, women towards women, men towards men. And quite frankly, the above is way worse – it escalates into to verbal and physical abuse over the pettiest issues.
As a woman I have been more harassed over stupid issues on the road than anything else. The closest I’ve been to sexual harassment was when a guy blocked my car from behind and wouldnt let me leave the parking space until I gave him my number. I didn’t feel unsafe, yes I was a little anxious, but I just gave him a fake number and he ****** off. Other than that, I’ve walked on streets minding my own business and the most that happened was lots of intimidating staring and some immature teenagers rolling down their car windows on the road and saying something – to which the best solution is to ignore them.
Let’s see where this movement goes…
Because similar to BLM, it is the topic of the moment. Yes all harrassment should stop, but it the worry of systemic oppression of those some deem inferior/vulnerable.
Solution: educate & empower. I don’t mean educate the theory and history; no, teach empathy and importance of community and model citizenship. And empower those who are frequently victimised, be it through introduction of laws, consistent enforcement or a respectful platform for this to be aired and discussed without fear of reprisal and judement.
One might argue that calling a grown woman a “girl” is itself a form of harassment. (Associated Press style says “girl” is applicable until the person’s 18th birthday.)
What about Men getting harassed by Kuwaiti Men ?
Reading through the comments brought to mind all the similar experiences I have had over the years in Kuwait. Some of the thoughts I had on this:
1. What would help this issue:
More conversations about this! Define inappropriate behaviour. A lot of it is dismissed as harmless, boys being boys – following, obscene comments, hooting as they drive by etc. This gaslights women from reporting it.
Perhaps something as simple as a PSA (animated cinescape pre-movie video style) that spells out what constitutes harassment, might go a long way in constantly reminding everyone (perpetrators, bystanders and victims) that this behaviour is NOT acceptable.
2. What can men/ bystanders do?
See something say something: Men, women, erryone– if you happen to see women in uncomfortable positions please just ask if they are okay. Some of the most reassuring moments for me personally have been instances where a stranger(s) just stopped to ask if I am okay, offered to walk me to the nearest crowded spot. Mark: big shoutout to you for what you’re doing! It helps, and how!
If you see something: ask loudly if they are okay. Offer to keep them company until their ride arrives/ they are in a ‘safer’ space/ call the authorities.
3. What needs to be done:
Sensitize law enforcement and people at large about what constitutes inappropriate behaviour and harassment. This is obviously the larger policy goal. But the first two, I believe, are things we can do now.
At the Avenues my 4 year old son and I got up from our seat to get some ice cream, while I was ordering he went back to our seat.
While I brought our order of ice cream there were a couple of local teenagers seated where we were and my son was talking to them.
I sat down and let the conversation continue when all of a sudden one of the teenagers asks my son to kiss his lips.
We got up and left. I did want to punch that teenager in his face, I do not know why I did not.
I have to say though – this has been happening AT LEAST my whole life – since the beginning of the 80s and I have relatives who lived here before saying it happened even before that.
Asians and expats have been sexually harrased, raped. murdered, in the form of workers and housemaids – hundreds upon hundreds of murders a year. And while I am glad finally women are speaking up about it, lets face it. If these women were asian, nobody would give a shit. Kuwaitis hold all the power, men first, then women, and the rest of us are somewhere down the ladder – getting harrassed, raped and killed like its our job description.
I agree, it’s happening way more to expats such as Asian women at a way more dangerous level. Well obviously because they don’t hold the same rights. Here, men are afraid to some degree to harass a Kuwaiti woman – the furthest it gets is mostly cat-calling, staring, whistling/honking / stalking. They rarely go as far as groping her.
I’m half Kuwaiti and I’ve been harassed (such as the above) by expat men, simply because they wouldn’t have guessed Im Kuwaiti ( I don’t look it) The moment I open my mouth they turn red in the face and back off.
The issue is gaining momentum because local influencers and women are speaking up about it. But it’s been happening to expats for the longest time.
Not sure where you get the hundreds upon hundreds number from. The homicide rate in Kuwait is 1.8 per 100,000 population according to World Bank data. With a population of 4.2 million in Kuwait, that is about 76 homicides a year (for the whole Kuwaiti population, not just Asians). Guess what the homicide rate is in, say, the Philippines. It’s 6.5 per 100,000 population, so more than 3 and half times the homicide rate in Kuwait. I’m all for protecting women and minorities from harassment but we also have to get our facts straight.
Hey Ahmad! I used to work in that particular field on behalf of an NGO – and I can tell you point blank – Kuwait fudges the number of expat deaths, especially when it comes to domestic workers. The ‘suicides’ or maids ‘falling’ out of windows, the deaths in deportation centres. When I worked there women would go missing on their way from the police station to the deportation centre. I’m not kidding – you track them from sponsor, to hospital (after a rape) to jail, and expect them to turn up at the deportation centre… but because they go missing. We had no doubt in our minds that it was the work of sponsors who had been charged with rape (only to be released the following week btw in more than a few cases)
There’s so much that happens under the hood you’d be shocked at half the shit expats see with their own eyes.
The crime rate for rapes in Kuwait is 4.1 per 100,000, so that’s 172 reported rapes for the whole 4.2 million Kuwaiti population (nationals and expats). Even if you assume all the 172 raped are expat domestic workers and all of the 172 end up murdered before deportation it would still not make “hundreds upon hundreds” of murders of domestic workers.
The suicide rate in Kuwait among women is 1.7 per 100,000. With a female population of 1.7 million in Kuwait, that’s about 29 female suicides a year. Assuming all of these 29 are domestic workers and all of them are actually “under the hood” murders and not suicides, it is still very far from “hundreds upon hundreds” of murders a year.
Just because you have a personal suspicion that Kuwait fudges the numbers and that you “have no doubt your mind” that all these domestic workers going missing and committing suicide are actually being murdered by their sponsors does not mean YOU can fudge the numbers and make them up as you go, by orders of magnitude more than what the statistics are showing.
In most of the houses I know, the maids love working for their sponsors and in many cases are treated like part of the family, and it’s certainly not in their “job description” to be “harassed, raped and killed” like you say. Sure there are cases of mistreatment and violence to domestic workers, which of course should not be happening, but these cases are NOT the norm like you make it seem.
that’s fine man. I have no intention of trying to convince you – but neither do your figures have any effect on what I know. I worked with Human Rights Watch so…
We all believe what we experience, and the figures we are accustomed to seeing.
Ok so when the facts don’t agree with your conviction that expats come to Kuwait only to get “harassed, raped and killed,” then the facts are wrong and you are right. You could have at least given a source for the “hundreds upon hundreds of murders a year” figure to sound minimally credible, but I’m guessing you just made that number up. I’d bet even Human Rights Watch wouldn’t vouch for that number because it’s so far removed from reality. I’m not really surprised the figures don’t have any effect on you because they probably would just give you what psychologists call cognitive dissonance (look it up), so you would rather just deny the figures and hold on to your beliefs. Good luck with everything with an attitude like that.
“Men can help too” – *Some men (those who are Kuwaiti, upper class expat or white) can help. But if you’re an indian/egyptian/filipino and you call out a Kuwaiti for harassing a girl, you’re likely to get your ass kicked or much worse.
Issue between Kuwaiti Men and Kuwaiti Women should be left to themselves to sort out.
We get harassed by men of many nationalities. Indian, Egyptian, Lebanese, Kuwaiti.. I could go on.
I think if you have low lives being trained to be cops ( not all of them but a vast majority) who are supposed to protect us yet are the ones actually doing the harrassing themselves, who do you go to then.
Ironically i was harrassed by a police officer wearing his uniform at my place of work! And I’m glad i decided to report him and didn’t keep quiet.
Let’s look at the facts
Kuwait and most muslim countries hage the lowest harassment in the world
Kuwait probably from the lowest
Sweden, the country of feminist equality, has the highest rape (yes rape not harassment) rate in the world
Stockholm is considered the capital of rape
Closed minded people always look at the problems, they never look at causes
You said let’s look at the facts and then didn’t share any. Where is all the data to back your comments up? Facts require sources.
Secondly, you’re fine with all the harassment because we’re not the worst place in the world? If we’re not in the top 3 then it’s ok? Are you for real?
This is a centuries-old culture based on the belief that, “…I am afraid of decking the shit out of another man for looking at my wife/daughter/sister/mother sideways, so instead of manning the eff up, I’ll basically say it’s in their nature to be whores and make them wear black blankets in the hot-ass sun.”
The reason men here get away with it is because the entire culture is based on “blame the victim before she’s a victim.”
Good luck changing that without changing the culture!
one of my first memories is being harassed by a group of teenagers in a car asking me and my friend to “take a ride with them” while were waiting for our taxi in front of fuddruckers on gulf road back in the day. we refused and then walked away so they slowly followed us refusing to let us go until we went back into the place and hid there until the taxi came.
Kuwait is really messed up in terms of sexual harassment for obvious reasons and i have no doubts that women here experience so many problems in general it’s almost unreal. I understand that life isn’t fair and society is patriarchal in nature but honestly the level here is so toxic it’s almost unlivable for women and even men, let alone the LGBT+ community that is just regarded as sub-human and can be abducted and raped at any time by anyone. It really can be a jungle out here and i honestly have no idea how to treat this issue as it is just a derivative of a huge cultural issue that goes all the way to the top of the food chain.