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Guest Bloggers Healthier Lifestyle Information

Building the Perfect Female – Part 1

Posted by Fahad AlYehya | Core Fitness – Kuwait

This generation’s females are anemic, bulimic, and anorexic. They deny those things ad infinitum, of course, but you can’t really trust anything they say. They think cupcake is a food group.

Because I want to be fair and balanced, I will write this post with my “female” voice. (Yes, I do have a female voice. I keep it locked away safe and sound though. And my female voice is still a beast that will scratch your eyes out. Don’t mess with Lupita, yo!) Take it away Lupita:

75% percent of us are ova’weight, ese!
It sucks to be fat and anemic at the same time; it’s like you’re fat for nothing. Malnutrition here translates into eating junk calories devoid of any essential vitamins and minerals, replaced by traditional wholesome food.

But you told us to satisfy our cravings in moderation, homes!
I worked with women who eat nothing but chocolate, cupcakes, muffins and donuts all day long. Eating desserts and sweets all day moderately is anything but moderate. Eat your 2-3 square meals first and enjoy snacking in between them but in moderation.

Psshhh, wha’eva fatty! I have a high metabolism and I can eat wha’eva ah want.
If only I had a fils for every time I heard that, I’d be able to cross all of Lupita’s 160 cousins over the border. Studies conducted in Kuwait have shown that females between the ages of 14-18 are playing Russian Roulette with high cholesterol levels and diabetes. You don’t have high metabolisms; it’s called skinny fat. A person with a high metabolism looks like an anatomy chart. You look like a skinny stripper with extra jiggle.

Like I could care less what you tink. I’m enjoyin’ life and I’m happy! And my momma tinks I’m too SKINNY!
My mother, Allah bless her heart, is overweight and your mother’s also probably overweight. Mothers should set better examples by teaching their children on how to eat properly. Unfortunately, mothers enjoy dessert and sweet consumption more than their daughters. No one wants to be fat alone, so listen to mommy and have that extra cupcake. With whipped cream. And mango juice. And ice cream. With fondue on the side. Maybe cookies. Screw it, I’m adding in cookies.

OK OK! I get it! Save me from my own demise, papi!

I thought you’d never ask.




Categories
Food & Drinks Guest Bloggers Healthier Lifestyle Information

Holy Sugar-Cravings-of-Ramadan Batman!

Posted by Fahad AlYehya | Core Fitness – Kuwait

The first day of Ramadan was a total bust. True epic failure. You guys would’ve been disappointed at the horrors that took place at my family’s futoor table.

Yet, like the phoenix, I rise again and avail in favor of sticking to my plan like every other dedicated fitness enthusiast, which lasted a few seconds right after the kanafa, atayef and cheese cake arrived, where I yet again continued to disgrace my will and testament in keeping my mouth shut and saving dessert for later.

Of course a few cups of sage, thyme, ginger, white tea, gymnema sylvestre and peppermint post pig-out should minimize the gut-damage, at least in accordance to my mother.  On a side note, I’ll be discussing more about those 6 herbs and how they can benefit you when indulging in belt-widening carby and fatty mixtures from hell.

This Post’s About Dessert BTW

I guide you how to eat dessert responsibly, I throw in a few jokes, then you follow my advice by eating dessert responsibly and we all live happily every after. The usual Q&A is available for any necessary inquiries in regards to the subject or any other relevant areas in fitness, health and nutrition.

Snacking Rules:

*Dessert should never go above 300 calories.

*Each snack should contain all macro nutrients, including junk-nutrients such as sugar and fat. Inclusion of all macros balance out the snack, providing a more subtle release of blood sugar.

*This is bullet point #3 and isn’t remotely relevant to the subject at hand.

*Snacks are to be consumed 2.5-3 hours after a meal or before a meal.




Categories
Food & Drinks Guest Bloggers Healthier Lifestyle Kuwait

The Super Duper Guide to Losing Fat and Maintaining Muscle in Ramadan

Posted by Fahad AlYehya | Core Fitness – Kuwait

I would first like to apologize for my long absence from the world of blogging and greatly appreciate all my supporting readers for being patient and understanding. Moreover, I’d also like to send my sincerest apologies to those of you who have emailed me but haven’t recieved a reply. I’d like to thank you all for putting up with my crap and style of writing, which by-the-way will only get worse. I’ve stated this a million times. If you’re not cool with my writing nature, then don’t read me. I should warn you, though; you’re going to miss out on some epic nutrition advice.

Before I begin preaching, I’d like to clarify how this guide will work:

1) I’ll list down all the basics of Ramadan eating and training to provide a brief understanding for the readers.

2) The reader will then post his/her goal, physical stats (height, weight, bf % if available) and Ramadan lifestyle (exercise timing, family gatherings, favorite/worst foods, etc).

3) I will then reply with a customized optimal plan for that reader’s goal

4) Other readers/haters who are too lazy to comment/hate can read/[go-kill-themselves] the Q&A’s below so that they may personally implement on their own.

The Q&A below will serve as a guide to unanswered questions anyone might have about Ramadan. Please refrain from emailing me since the goal of this post is to publicly educate through the written facts/opinions/experiences and the associated comments.

Credibility and Experience

It took me around 3 Ramadans to fully understand how my body works when it comes to losing fat and maintaining muscle when fasting. From eating small portions of food to indulging in every calorie dense food item, I’ve realized the only way to survive Ramadan is by doing the exact same thing.

1st Attempt: I dieted in Ramadan, performing 30-60 minutes of cardio 2 hours prior to breaking my fast, and weight lifting 1 hour after a light futoor, followed by a light dinner and a light suhoor.

Result: Managed to lose 10kg in 1 month.

Damage: Managed to lose a lot of my hard earned muscle. Fail.

2nd Attempt: I gorged on endless calories, weight-lifted with less intensity and did absolutely no cardio.

Result: Gained 5kg.

Damage: 5kg of fat; but I kept my muscle. Epic fail.

3rd Attempt: Dieted 3 months prior to Ramadan (low calorie intake, 60 minutes of cardio, 30-45 minutes of weight-lifting). Stuck to the same level of calorie intake and workout-intensity in Ramadan, eliminated cardio completely.

Result: Nothing. Kept my muscle, maintained my superb condition.

Damage: Refer to the above. Boo-Yeah.




Categories
Food & Drinks Healthier Lifestyle Kuwait Personal Sports

My new diet plan

Since we’re on the subject of health and fitness, yesterday I picked up my new diet plan from Fahad. It’s a lot tougher and he’s added an extra work out day bringing it up my work out days to four. They’ve also increased my weights considerably and are going to be giving me a harder time at the gym. My new diet plan also includes supplements for the first time. I will be taking two supplements, Whey Protein Isolates and Ripped Fuel. Whey Protein from what I understand and have read will help me considerably in a variety of ways from helping me grow and repair my muscles to strengthening my immune system. Ripped Fuel on the other hand will help me burn fat, give me an energy boost and also help me gain lean muscle mass. I got both these supplements from Souk Sharq from the shop across from Nokia. Whey Protein was KD25 while Ripped Fuel was KD20.

Below is my new diet plan, you will notice it now includes burgers. Not any burgers though, I can’t have McDonalds or Johnny Rockets for example, it’s got to be better quality burgers like from Burger Boutique, Slider Station, Applebee’s and Chili’s. I tried the Chili’s burger today with a side order of broccoli and I have to say that’s the most horrible side order I have ever had with a burger. If I ever had a burger nightmare that would have been it. On the bright side I did have a burger.

Here is the diet plan:

WORKOUT DAYS

8:00 am: Upon Waking:
500ml of Water + 2 capsules of Ripped Fuel

8:45: BREAKFAST
2 Egg Sausage McMuffins (No orange juice)

11:15 – Snack
1 scoop of ON’s 100% Whey Protein mixed w/ water

1:30: Lunch
Option 1: 1 Burger (double patty), no cheese, no mayo + salad w/out dressing
Option 2: 1 edamame w/out salt, 6 pieces of maki, 9 pieces of sashimi
Option 3: 1 Shish Tawook or Tikka Meat, small hummus w/out oil, 1/2 white bread, tabboula without dressing

4:00 – 2 capsules of Ripped Fuel

5:00: SNACK
1 scoop of ON’s 100% Whey Protein mixed w/ water

8:00 – 8:20: WORKOUT + 10 minutes of cardio

Immediately After Training:
1 scoop of ON’s 100% Whey Protein mixed w/ water

60 Minutes Later:
No carb, low fat, high protein, high veggie dinner

_____________________________________________

NON-WORKOUT DAYS

8:00 am: Upon Waking:
500ml of Water + 2 capsules of Ripped Fuel

8:45: BREAKFAST
2 Egg McMuffins (No orange juice)

11:15 – Snack
1 scoop of ON’s 100% Whey Protein mixed w/ water

1:30: Lunch
Option 1: 1 Burger (double patty), no cheese, no mayo + salad w/out dressing
Option 2: 1 edamame w/out salt, 6 pieces of maki, 9 pieces of sashimi
Option 3: 1 Shish Tawook or Tikka Meat, small hummus w/out oil, 1/2 white bread, tabboula without dressing

4:00 – 2 capsules of Ripped Fuel

5:00: SNACK
1 scoop of ON’s 100% Whey Protein mixed w/ water

8:00 – Dinner
No carb, low fat, high protein, high veggie dinner

12:00 – Late Night Snack
1 scoop of ON’s 100% Whey Protein mixed w/ water




Categories
Guest Bloggers Healthier Lifestyle Information Kuwait Sports

Professionals that don’t Suck

Posted by Fahad AlYehya | Core Fitness – Kuwait

Did anyone ever notice how almost every aerobic/kick-boxing/gay dancing class has an instructor that’s out of shape and 20 other people that are also of round variety? I mean, how do you expect to get in shape if the instructor looks like he’s/she’s been eating sambosa for the past 20 years? To add insult to injury, the obese members are forced to perform high kicks. It’s like show girls, but with a lot less turn-on and a lot more LOL.

And what about those self-proclaimed gurus roaming around the gyms of Kuwait? I’ve researched on a couple of famous gurus to see what they were up to. One of them refuses to work with drug-free athletes; he won’t even turn to look at you if you approach him with the “I’d like to do this naturally” speech. The last guy that did ended up in the hospital urinating blood; due to 5 anabolic and androgenic compounds that he were recommended to take (this was partly the client’s fault since he didn’t know bodybuilding involves a nutritional plan and intense training). Another guy trains both naturals and chemically enhanced athletes, but fails to inform young amateurs of the consequences associated with early AAS drug use, which they subsequently fall victims too.

Awesome Super Friends
I’m here to discuss health and fitness professionals and practitioners in Kuwait who talk it and walk it. In the pursuit of spreading the influence of a healthier lifestyle, I’ll be providing information about competitors who I am more than glad to lose my business to. They all have the passion, the drive, the experience and the ability to motivate others in attaining a healthier lifestyle.

Consequently, I’m planning on crushing each and every one of them so by the time you read this, they might be dead. They also might end up in my belly. My 7% body fat belly.

As a gym owner, I constantly get asked by many people about what the right exercises are, what the right diet is and about how many freaking Pinkberry yogurts are acceptable. (Depends on what you’re trying to do; again, depends on what you want to do). Sometimes, I find I don’t have the time to answer questions in detail, and that makes me feel, as the self proclaimed Master of the Fitness Universe, like I have failed you. And I do not like to fail.

Here’s a list of people (in no particular order) you can consult about health and fitness in Kuwait, or as I like to call them, my awesome super-friends, who I don’t necessarily know personally. (You can call them people who are not quite as awesome as I am.)




Categories
Food & Drinks Healthier Lifestyle Kuwait Personal

My Burger Rampage Diet

As most of you might have noticed, while in New York I ate a lot of burgers. Many people thought I was actually posting too many food posts but they would have been a lot more if I posted about all the burger places I went to. Before going to New York I had a list of around 60 burger places I wanted to try out which I got from the blog A Hamburger Today and even though I didn’t even get close to trying out 60 burger places I did have on average two burgers a day while in New York. And guess what? I lost weight!

Before I went on vacation I spoke to Fahad and I told him that there was no way I could eat healthy on my trip. It was New York and I wasn’t going to spend my time looking for something healthy to eat. He told me as long as I was going to do a lot of walking than I could eat whatever I wanted as long as the proportions weren’t too big. He told me I also had to have a meal every 3 hours. I could also have dessert if I wanted but it couldn’t be part of my main meal, it would have to be counted as a meal on its own. So if I had a burger at 12PM I could have an ice cream at 3PM. I thought that was fair and took his advice.

My morning started off either with a big breakfast from a cozy diner near my hotel or a McGriddle from McDonalds. I stuck to places near my hotel since I needed to have breakfast an hour after waking up. That would happen around 9 or 10am. Then, 3 hours later I would have a burger, 3 hours after that dessert (usually a chocolate cone from Pinkberry or a cookie from a bakery), 3 hours after that another burger and finally my last meal at night would be dinner at one of the trendy restaurants near my hotel.

I rarely had fries with my burger, I think I only had fries 3 times on my trip. I would also always order only 1 burger but sometimes it would be a double patty. One great thing (or it could be a bad thing) about New York is the fact I think by law they need to display the calorie count of everything on the menu. So one time I was at Wendy’s for example and I felt like a double bacon and cheese but then noticed the calorie count and decided to go with a regular double cheese burger instead. I think the calorie count helped me save a ton of calories. It was also one major reason I didn’t have french fries with my burgers since if I did the calorie count of my meal would double. I also went with Coke Zero over regular Coke since that was another easy 200-300 calorie saving.

I walked a lot, around 12 hours and the only time I took a cab was to and from the airport. I was using the subway mostly and it was mostly from Brooklyn where I was staying to Manhattan which is where everything was located. While there I walked everywhere and only took the subway if I was in a rush like to catch a store before they closed. One night I walked back to my hotel even which was around a 8-9KM walk according to Google Maps.

The result? I left Kuwait weighing 77KG and I came back weighing 76KG. I thought I had lost more weight but I am not disappointed losing only a KG with the food I was eating. Now that the vacation is over and I’ve returned to Kuwait I’m eating healthy again and today was my first time back at the gym since I left. Until my next burger rampage…




Categories
Food & Drinks Guest Bloggers Healthier Lifestyle Information

Congratulations Kuwait. Now the world knows we’re Fat

Posted by Fahad AlYehya | Core Fitness – Kuwait

The Question

Fahad,

I have a question. This may sound really stupid. But, other than weight concerns. What other reasons are there for eating healthy?
What I mean by that is lets say someone does not have any weight issues. What benefits does eating healthy offer them? Apart from like getting all the required nutrients perhaps.

Like if someone is not fat and dont get fat, why shouldn’t they eat sugar? Or why shouldn’t they eat lots of fat? Or white bread? Or cookies? Cakes? Big Macs? Fries? Sodas?

I mean we always look at this from a caloric and weight loss/muscle gain perspective. But, beyond that, what are the long term impact on health of eating well beyond just getting all the required nutrients?

Can you talk a bit about that.

– Ed

The Answer

Well Ed, I am cleared to tell you how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

“Ed: I often wondered about this phenomenon. Do tell.”

A woodchuck could chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could, but really, who gives a damn about a woodchuck?

On a serious note, I found this question too significant to include in the comments below my last post. I will be answering Ed’s questions in the order I see fit.




Categories
Food & Drinks Guest Bloggers Healthier Lifestyle Information Personal

We no havva rerivery now! You not undastaand?!

Posted by Fahad AlYehya | Core Fitness – Kuwait

Your world rocked in 3, 2, 1….

And we’re back with part 2 of my original post (Herro Prease!) that seemed to cause more racial and homophobic controversy than health and fitness orientation and guidance.

Taste Buds
I’m often criticized for my diminishing taste buds. When on a strict diet, the food consumed tends to taste awful and total caloric intake is extremely low. I’m eating 6-8 small portions per day of gooky old-fashioned oatmeal, funky-smelling boiled eggs, cold and barely chewable chicken breasts, tasteless and dry brown rice, and a lightly sweetened protein shake that tries its best to taste like a Johnny Rockets milkshake, but is actually one notch above dirt, and dirt can taste like ice cream when dieting.

So Masta of da Universe, if taste bud BAD, how can we trust you, haaaa!?
Have you ever sat next to a person who has been dieting more than 3 weeks? He/she will stare at you eating that burger and those fries. Moreover, they’ll tell you how to lightly dip your food in ketchup. What’s even more annoying, they’ll screw you over for not eating your entire meal; I should know, since I’m that annoying person. Lastly, I base the meals I eat on the ingredients used and how I feel after consumption. Through trial and error, I’ve discovered how long it takes my body to clean itself out if I just ate a fatty and carby meal.

Breakfass!
I am not a morning person at all. I hate the sun and anything associated with looking at the sun. I’ll even wear sun-glasses indoors in the morning, and I could care less if it made me look douchey. (If anyone has any job offerings somewhere cold and dark, please let me know.) In the meantime, I can’t deny the sensation of breakfast food. Once in a while, I’d wake up early on weekends and just have this strong urge to ditch my gooky oatmeal and boiled eggs for some tasty restaurant-served breakfast food. Before I begin, you need to take these points into consideration:

  • Upon waking from 8-10 hours of sleep, our bodies are deprived of nutrients and water.
  • Our inner functions tend to work optimally in the A.M., providing a challenge to any calorie intake; you can actually get away with a large thick pizza for breakfast and it’ll have a hard time storing itself as fat (assuming your healthy and fit).
  • Eating breakfast at a maximum of 1 hour after waking up will provide your metabolism with a boost from heaven. The earlier you eat breakfast, the better.
  • Eating breakfast more than 90 minutes after waking up will skyrocket your chances of obesity by 150%!



Categories
Food & Drinks Guest Bloggers Healthier Lifestyle Information Kuwait

Herro Prease! May I order derivery?!

Posted by Fahad AlYehya | Core Fitness – Kuwait

Consistency in dieting can be a challenge, especially when living in a country that endorses food more than anything else. Most of our days start out with food, some coffee and dessert, a little strolling around and shopping, and some more food. And at night, a small gathering of friends that involves barbecuing and a lot of muffins.

Some clients, relatives and friends call me every weekend, with inquiries such as “I’m at Gaucho. What do you recommend?” or “Pinkberry! Yay or nay?” and “Dude, why isn’t my girlfriend returning my calls?” For starters, you can’t really go wrong with Gaucho if you stick to Filet De Lomo; Pinkberry’s loaded with 20g of sugar per serving; and you should try being less douchey.

I’m not saying you should eat out everyday, but when you’re cornered into a meal, the right recommendations will prove useful. Moreover, dieting puts you in a state of hunger similar to that of a heroin addict; aching and scratching for that next meal. One last advice before I start dissecting each and every restaurant: if it tastes too good, then it’s probably not what you’re looking for.

Oh, Fahad-san! Ret us begin with hearthy restaurants!

What I hate more than carb and fat-infested fast food chains are eateries that preach about health, but are everything but healthy; which is why I’ll be poking at them first:




Categories
Food & Drinks Healthier Lifestyle

No more McGangBangs

I just realized that just over a year ago I posted about the McGangBang and how great it was but now I haven’t had a McDonalds burger (or BK, KFC, Hardees etc..) for nearly a year. I’m eating a lot healthier, having a ton of salad and not really missing any of the fast food. I went from eating at those fast food joints practically daily to never. I think it’s like quitting smoking (I don’t smoke but I’m guessing). It’s difficult at first but then once you’re off you’re off.




Categories
Healthier Lifestyle Kuwait Sports

The first official triathlon in Kuwait

The 3 Club are going to be organizing the first official triathlon in Kuwait this month dubbed The Flying Start Triathlon. The event will start off with a swim, followed by cycling and ending with a run.

Registration is free to 3 club members while none members will have to pay KD25 to participate. If you’re interested or want more details check out their website [Here]




Categories
Guest Bloggers Healthier Lifestyle Information Kuwait

Get BALLSY Kuwait!

Posted by Fahad AlYehya | Core Fitness – Kuwait

Man’s proper stature is not one of mediocrity, failure, frustration, or defeat, but one of achievement, strength, and nobility. In short, man can and ought to be a hero.” – Mike Mentzer, the father of High Intensity Training.

If you’re eating a snicker’s bar, drinking a Red Bull and smoking a cigarette, then put your weapons down, step back slowly and carefully, and take a good gander (wow, GANDER, where did that come from?) at yourself. What you’ll probably see is regression; the convergent evolution of man, but in a very bad way.

Devolution, or the opposite of evolution, is what we are currently witnessing with the entire world. In a recent study that took over 10 years to accomplish concluded that males 10 years ago were manlier than males today. The study also concluded that the farther you go back, the larger “bowling balls” males had.

My grandfather had 4 wives, with a total of 13 kids. I’m willing to bet that your fathers, grandfathers, and the fathers of your grandfathers went through the exact same trend. I’m also willing to bet that no one in present time has a pair (biologically speaking) to do the same.

High Rate of Impotence & Erectile Dysfunction

On the 23rd of March 2010, Al Watan Newspaper published an article on it’s first page stating that Kuwait’s fertility rate is at risk. Moreover, it also stressed the high rate of impotence and sexual dysfunction. I’d like to add in my own theoretical opinion by saying that a lot of men are at the lower end of normal testosterone production, which is OK, but puts you just a few notches above a female. Yes you concerned female, you might be as manly if not manlier than your husband, boyfriend or whatever relationship you decided to pursue.

Seriously though, low-testosterone is also a contributer to the increase of divorce rates in Kuwait; females are not getting their fair share of manhood.

“Yeah..but how is that of benefit to us, Oh Master of the Fitness Universe?”




Categories
Food & Drinks Guest Bloggers Healthier Lifestyle Information

You’re not fat, but your butt’s too big

Posted by Fahad AlYehya | Core Fitness – Kuwait

“Dude, I’m really skinny up top, but down below I’m a MESS!”

“I’ve been doing ab work for ages! I literally spend hours in the gym everyday crunching and leg raising my butt off! Why do I still have this belly!? Where’s my six pack!?”

“I might as well paste that muffin I just ate on my thighs, because eventually that’s where it’s going to end up.”

“I’m a 27 year old guy that has better breast development than Pamela Anderson!”

“I’ve been on Lipo-6 for 3 months! Nothing happened!” Me: what’s your diet like? “I pretty much eat whatever I want.”

These pretty much sum up what I am about to tackle today (and obviously the title). Before I do, I’d like to point the finger of blame:

1) Training is 20-30%; it only refines a physique.
Nutrition is the other 70-80%.
2) Abs are made in the kitchen.
3) Why are you crunching with no weights when you clearly don’t have any abdominal muscles?
4) The abdominals are a muscle. If you work a muscle everyday it’ll shrink and never grow.
5) If you eat like a pig and train like a horse, you’ll lose overall weight; except for those stubborn fat stores you want to get rid off.

Too many of you quit too early to see any significant results. You tend to give it all up once results start to slow down. It took you years to gain all that fat, so why do you expect to lose it in such a short time?

It’s hard to make your first million, but once you do, you’ll know exactly what kind of work ethic you’d have to give in order to get it. Same thing goes with a set of abs or shapely thighs; you’re pretty vague about how long or hard your journey will be, but once you give into the commitment then it’ll be all worth it.

I’m here to serve as a guide to that journey, where simple bouts of information may prove useful for that much needed push you’ve been looking for.




Categories
Food & Drinks Healthier Lifestyle Kuwait

A Healthier Lunchbox

Local blogger and teacher Miss Farah posted something which I wanted to share with my readers. One of her kids in class had brought only chips and chocolate for lunch (pic above), so Miss Farah sent a letter to the parents explaining to them how unhealthy that was for their daughter. Next day she checked the kids lunchbox and this time the little girl had cucumbers, carrots, croissant, corn and juice (pic below).

I thought it was great of Miss Farah for caring enough to contact the parents and I thought it was also great from the parents to actually listen to her. Hopefully the lunchbox continues to stay healthy and other parents reading this can do the same with their kids. You can check Miss Farah’s blog [Here]




Categories
Food & Drinks Guest Bloggers Healthier Lifestyle

Summertime

Posted by Fahad AlYehya | Core Fitness – Kuwait

It’s almost summer time and all the gyms around Kuwait are packed! People have locations to travel too, beaches to swim in and jet skis to ride, but you got to look good doing it. What’s the sure-fire, shortcut approach and rapidly fast solution to all this? A truckload of performance enhancers, dietary supplements and A LOT of chest and bicep exercises! That was the norm back in my university days, but people now demand abs too; but no legs, definitely no legs. They are evil and such a pain in the butt when exercised.

The summertime crowd is a lot more demanding and highly impatient in comparison to other seasonal clients. They expect so much in such little time. Moreover, they tend to quit early if extreme results are not presentable within 72 hours, literally. This is how a typical meeting with an average “I need to look like 50 Cent within a month” client:

Client: “All I’m looking for is definition. I need to tone my arms a bit, expand my chest and work on my abs. As you can see, I’ve got the jello jiggles all around dis area yo.”

Me: “How long do I have in order for to make these changes?”

Client: “Brah! I’ve got a month and I’ll be hittin’ da beaches of Ibiza. If things don’t work out with da visa (that rhymed, dude must be a rapper), I’d might extend it for another month and go to Sharm.”

Me: “What you’re asking for is a shortcut, which is highly unlikely since you’ve got no muscle for me to tone and a spare tire around your waist.”

Client: “NO YO! I’ve heard Core Fitness does wonders. I need to lose all of this and gain poundage’s all ova my upperbody. Wam, bam, do me SON!”

Me: “Uhh, no, we don’t offer doing anyone, we just provide you a diet plan, a workout plan and absolutely no happy endings.”

Client: “And yo, no legs. I’ve got more jiggle than Santa Claus lying around this lower area as you can see, so no leg workouts whatsoever. I don’t want to be looking like an Egyptian belly-dancer yo.”

Me: “I hope you realize you’re whiter than I am. Anyways, cutting out legs isn’t a good idea; it’s literally half your body. If you want those changes, you have to give us a minimum of 2 months. It’s a lifestyle.”

Client: “Dude, I’ll pop pills! I’ll drink dem powders! What’s dat white stuff called? Crac….I mean creatine? Yeah, I’ll give that a try!”

Me: “No. What’s your current diet like?”

Client: “I’m not a breakfis’ person, so screw dat. At around 11 am at work, I pass by a Starbucks and order a triple-shot-venti-half-caf-half-decaf-French-roast-2 caramel pumps-extra-whip-non-fat-mocha-with-extra-foam……Oh, and a low fat muffi’. At home, I eat pretty much what I want and for dinner, strictly fast food.”

Me: “I swear to God, if you don’t stop talking like that I’m going to punch you on the face.”

Client: “Ok man, jeez…so I’ll give you two months. Does that work for you?”

Me: “Two months, our workout routine and a strict diet plan should do.”

Client: Ho-nee FUT! DUDE, DATS INCWEDIBUL! You ma boi!!!”

Me: “Get the f%$k out.”

Health and fitness is a lifestyle. If you want to look good and feel good from this day onwards, you need to understand that it requires a lot of effort at first, and once you get used to it, it’ll be like breathing air and drinking water.

Reality

For every goal you set, commitment must be taken into consideration; the greater you want the end result to be, the harder you have to push yourself to achieve it. For example, in order for me to maintain the current weight and body fat percentage I am on, I’d have to consume a specific amount of calories, weight-lifting poundage’s, and rest and recovery. Since summertime is approaching, my meal plan has to be a lot cleaner, sometimes tasteless and slightly low in calories, with the addition of cardiovascular activity. If I expect a leaner set of abs, I need to put in the effort in order to achieve this.

A lot of you have slowly introduced this lifestyle and are witnessing good results. If you’ve currently stopped producing any significant results (i.e. fat-loss or muscle-gain), your eating and training habits have to be a lot stricter, which may include cleaning out or adding in calories; this is only assuming you’d want more results.