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SALMIYA 13/9/2016 – A locals group of misguided young men and loose girls with a membership to a questionable Facebook group by the name of “Q8VVIPvegan” took to the streets early this morning to protest what they called the Holocaust of sheeps” during the the first day of the occasion of Eid al Adha.

The so called activists had chosen the highly strategic MCD seafront branch to commence their wild public stunt. The location was carefully chosen to send a strong anti-meat eating message delivered in defiance of the new tasty eid promotion called the McMachboos. Their dastardly aim was to shake the very foundations of our peaceful and loving tradition of systemic mass animal slaughter and consumption.

The group launched their attack using a variety of underhanded tactics to defend their cause such as arming themselves with painfully colourful signs depicting filthy animals such as LOLcats spouting strange subliminal phrases including: “sheepz r my frnd, why can u haz kills it? 🙁 “. The group would also blare out a recording of their campaign slogan “This eid save your floos, don’t buy a sheeps just for machboos” on their iPhones.

Immediately forces were dispatched to protect innocent civilians from the radical group. Following the lengthy standoff that lasted well over 30 minutes. By lunch time the group’s spirits were broken and the volatile situation finally reached its boiling point as it was nearing 1pm, time for midday rest. The incoming sleeplessness was impossible to shake.

The dangerous activists were easily disarmed using a special forces tactic of preparing a heavy meal that induced quick sedation and enabled the forces to control the group. The now weary and defeated youth were apprehended and sent home tired and bloated after strong words from the authorities, bringing shame to their families’ good names and the heavy burden of society’s tainted look towards them.

The threat was contained and peace was once again fully restored thanks to the efforts of the concerned authorities. The law prevailed yet again to the dismay of all the wrong doers that only wish harm upon our proud society.

Post by Holla

Al Busal posts are 100% fictional, satirical and in no way be taken seriously.

Here is another activity to add to the list of things to do in Kuwait. ProDrive Academy recently soft launched and are offering drifting and manual transmission driving courses.

Drifting Courses
They have four stages of drifting courses with each stage being more advanced. You learn to drift in a Nissan 370z and the prices are as follows:

Stage One: 3 hours long, costs KD130 and includes 2 new fresh tires
Stage Two: 1 1/2 hours long, costs KD100 and includes 2 new fresh tires
Stage Three: 3 hours long, costs KD130 and includes 2 new fresh tires
Stage Four: 3 hours long, costs KD100 and includes 2 new fresh tires

They have a package deal where if you decide to go with all four stages then the total cost would be KD400 instead of KD460.

Every Tuesday from 5PM to 11PM is an open drift day in which anyone can bring their car to the ProDrive circuit and drift. The cost to take part in that is KD30.

Manual Transmission Courses
With manual transmission courses they charge by the hour and depending on how quickly you learn the less time you need. They offer lessons with three different car options:

Nissan Pick Up: KD15/hour
Jeep Wrangler: KD20/hour
Nissan 370z: KD30/hour

If you’re interested in the above you can call them on 60049000 or 60604418.
For more information on ProDrive including a map of their location, check out their instagram account @prodrivekw

The hockey season is going to start soon and the Kuwait Mooseheads Ice Hockey Team are looking for new members. If you can ice skate and play hockey then this is for you:

“Looking for something fun, active and social? Miss those days at the rink? Well you’re in luck, the Kuwait Mooseheads hockey club is looking for new members to join us for our weekly scrimmages. We play twice a week at the ice rink next to Discovery Mall. The club also takes part in international tournaments throughout the year. Full equipment is required, and experience is necessary. Please contact Graham at [email protected]

A year ago today, I posted about my trip into the middle of the desert so I could meet Abdulai Shani, a teacher from Ghana who came to Kuwait with the promise of being a security guard, only to find out once he arrived that he would be a shepherd and earn a 1/3 of what he was told he would get. It was a sad story but one that ended on a happy note since thanks to one of my readers, Abdulai got a much better job working and living in the city far away from the desert and his shabby tent.

Since it’s been a year I figured I’d post a quick follow up on Abdulai’s current status. We still chat every few months and when we last spoke a couple of weeks ago he was still working the same job but instead of living in Mahboula he nows lives in Salmiya. He’s happy and continues to check the blog often and even leaves comments every now and then.

If you’ve missed the previous two posts on Abdulai, here are the links:
From Ghana to Kuwait, One Man’s Story
From Ghana to Kuwait, to Mahboula

A whirlwind of audacious petrol theft has been sweeping the country following the recent sharp increase in gas prices. Hundreds of locals and expats have filed complaints citing evidence that gas from their cars has been mysteriously going missing. The victims explained that they would wake up to discover their cars had been tampered with overnight and emptied by an unknown forces.

The authorities have assured citizens that they are hot on the trail of several petrol-pumping gangs that have reared their ugly heads. The gangs would roam around in the cover of night, violently assaulting innocent private cars for the precious petrol contained within. They would then remove the gas using high tech equipment such as specialty hoses and their trained mouths to quickly pump the petrol out into an unmarked red gallon container and transport it to secretlocations in Hasawi. The hidden places are identified only by huge signs labeled “small costs petrol apailable” or “cheap gas, same same old price”.

Immediately a special operations undercover task force was assembled to address the alarming issue. A leading gang, nicknamed the “Bawagene Al Benzene” has already been dismantled thanks to the forces’ efforts. A lone agent assumed the identity of a down-on-his-luck sailor looking for cheap petrol to power his fishing boat. He then bravely infiltrated the heavily guarded top secret location in Hasawi by bribing the haris boy 3KD to enter the warehouse where the petrol was stored. A violent showdown ensued and the criminals tried to flee but were thwarted by backup when their getaway vehicle stopped on the side of the 6th ring road after it ran out of gas.

The top ranked gang leaders were identified as H.S, 28, a Syrian national and his partner in crime A.B, 34, who is a local, while a third suspect was also fingered. The team of 3 operated out of a garage in shuwaikh industrial area and hired local thugs to steal and transport the goods to Jleeb for storage. The 2 arrested have been referred to the concerned authorities for further action but the third suspect’s whereabouts remain unknown.

A statement was issued that this incident must serve as a warning to all evil doers trying to hurt the local economy using what they dubbed as the highly illegal “Robin Hood” scheme. The task force has also turned its sights to target massive international gas- smuggling rings. The ruthless rings operate by exporting cheap gas into the country via thousands of unmarked red gallon containers that do not cause suspicion at all. The forbidden petrol is then distributed to corrupt local delivery companies in need of cheap gas to illegally fuel their pizza and hamburger delivery vehicles.

Finally, a strong warning was issued that anyone seen brandishing a red a gallon, will be apprehended immediately and possibly questioned later if time permits.

Post by Holla

Al Busal posts are 100% fictional, satirical and in no way be taken seriously.

So this post isn’t what I would usually share but I’ve made an exception since I found the whole thing fascinating. This was written anonymously for obvious reasons and there will most likely be a follow up post. Check it out below:

——————————

I am a 33 year old khaleeji woman and I am living the life of my dreams (ilhamidalla). I have a top notch job, my own business, two college degrees, great friends, lovely family, I am pretty and I am a very content with the person that I am, but the people around me like to point out that something is wrong with me, something is missing, see I am not married. I am single.

I have heard that “you are more likely to die from a terrorist attack then get married after 40”, 7 years to find a husband or a terrorist attack! Yikes. Desperate measures calls for desperate needs (Tinder didn’t work, all I got were horny Americans on a base 53 KM away from the city) so I went to a Khataba. A Khataba is a middle woman that tries to connect a man and a women together to get married the Islamic way.

I found an Instagram account of a Khataba with her number so I texted her not knowing what to say. I had never done such a thing, and being a westernized khaleeji, I have always dated the non-khaleeji way. So I wrote “Alsalam Alaikum. I am a 33 year old khaleeji woman with a college degree, looking for a khaleeji man with a college degree”. Oops! 2 hours later I remembered that I had forgotten to mention the most important thing about me, that I am a virgin. So I sent another whatsapp “never been married”. 10 hours later I get a few images from her as follows:

The first picture had her Terms and Conditions written on it. “Dear customers important notice: 1) We take all requests in confidentiality 2) We seek to marry people the Islamic way 3) If both parties agree, communication shall be through the parents and not the parties concerned 4) Fees will be payable upon signing of the marriage certificate 5) All applications should be complete”

The second picture had 6 skin tones and a number for each skin tone. I was told to identify my skin tone and the skin tone that I was seeking in a man. This was difficult since my hands and face were a shade darker than the rest of my body. I don’t show a lot of skin when I go out, and the Kuwaiti sun burns even a cactus. I didn’t want to complicate things though so I just one color. I have always had a thing for darker men, Denzel Washington style men, yummy chocolateness, so I chose the darkest shade for Mr. Future Husband.

The third picture had a woman’s back with long hair flowing down, and there were numbers coming out at different lengths. I stood next to a mirror and identified my length number. Easy, sent it over.

The fourth picture wanted me to answer 15 questions about myself and my dream man. My job, my family and tribe name, my salary, how healthy I am, my height, my weight (of course I lied about my weight!!! DONT ASK WOMEN ABOUT THEIR WEIGHT!), just regular questions except for two, one that asked if I drove a car?! And the other that wanted to know if I communicate with men that are strangers at work? What is up with khaleeji men not wanting their woman to be behind a car? I haven’t met my future husband, but I know he’s not going to drive the kids to school! Yes, I can drive and my ovaries should be fine. And given that 50% of the human population is male, yes I do come across men that are strangers from time to time. I wrote back saying I am a full time writer and I work behind my screen. So that went well.

The fifth picture asked me to identify what I wanted in a man. This is what I really wanted “a dark tall man, rich, funny, caring, loving, artistic, with a private jet and yacht” but I obviously couldn’t say that so I said “a dark man with a college education, a practicing Muslim that doesn’t smoke”. I wasn’t going to let dark slide, he had to be dark. I added the practicing Muslim to make me look like a good faithful girl. Sent over.

Few hours later I get a response, the Khataba thought I made a mistake. I am light skinned, but I wanted someone that is dark? Must be a mistake. “Are you sure you are okay with a number 5 or 6 darkness?” Yes I replied. “Even if he has facial features of an African man?” Was this a trick question? I want a black man so yes I answered again. She then sent me a picture of a famous black Kuwaiti actor and asked “Are you sure you are okay with this color?” Yes! 2 hours later she sends me another message, “Are your parents going to be okay with a dark man?” Umm yes I said. “Can you please check with your parents?” Wtffff!! I wasn’t going to ask my parents if they were okay with me marrying a black man, but I said I will check anyways and waited a day. That’s when I got my offer, he’s black, he’s rich, I know his age, his height, his college education, and I have to decide. What do you guys think? Should I say yes to Mr. Chocolate? I will keep you guys updated…

Photo on top by Mohamed Kanoo

According to a reliable source of mine, the opening date for the Sheikh Jaber Al-Ahmad Cultural Centre has been officially set as October 31st. I didn’t receive any other details but I would assume a performance will be taking place there to correspond with the opening. More details when I get them. In case you missed the post on my visit to the Cultural Center you can check that out [Here]

Nuqat are mostly known for the creative conference which they hold every year (one of the largest in our region), but throughout the year they also offer various workshops and courses related to the creative field as well. Last week they launched a new membership program that includes a lot of benefits and if you’re planning to attend this years creative conference then you should probably sign up to it. Some of the benefits include:

– Free admission ticket to the Nuqat annual conference, not including workshops
– 15% discount on any paid event
– 15% discount on paid workshops and courses
– Access to a set of free courses during the year
– Priority seats to free and paid workshops and courses during the year
– Quarterly E-Newsletter: Receive exclusive up-to-date news on what’s happening in Nuqat.
– Invites/Priority seats to events of interest including: gallery previews, think tank sessions, research discussions, roundtables, film screenings, private musical performances, networking events etc.
– Discounts from various partners [Details Here]

The annual membership costs KD35 but admission ticket alone to the Nuqat annual conference this year for example is KD45 (unless a sponsor subsidies it). So if you’re planning to attend the talks this year then just by becoming a member you’re already saving KD10. If you’re interested and are looking for more information, check out the Nuqat page [Here]

No Man’s Sky is a exploration and survival game that takes place in a procedurally generated universe that features 18 quintillion planets. You have your own space ship that allows you to fly from planet to planet, galaxy to galaxy, discovering new planets, animals and plants, while trading with various different races.

The game starts off by placing you on a random planet with a broken spaceship. Your first task is to look for resources to help you repair your ship and take off from the planet. This first area serves as a light tutorial that should help you get a grip on the games loop. After you successfully take off from the first planet, the universe opens up to you and you can either choose to follow on the games set path to the center of the universe or you can choose travel to any galaxy and any planet you like as long as you have the fuel.

The problem with having procedurally generated content though is that a players experience is based off luck and chance. I’ve seen people complain that planets look the same, feel the same and there is truth in that, but my personal experience has differed. I’ve been lucky enough to discover a wide variety of planets, ranging from planets that have nearly zero life on them with intense weather to planets teeming with life. So even though I’ve seen planets that look similar, I’ve also been lucky enough to see enough variety that I’m still interested in exploring and taking screenshots of planets I like.

Scene from the cult classic, Crash

Earlier tonight I saw the hashtag #7FavFilms floating around on twitter and decided to participate naming my seven favorite movies of all time. But after sharing seven I realized I had missed so many movies and there was no way I could choose just seven. So I started putting together a list for myself, just to kinda see what I would come up with. I ended up with the list below and since it took a lot of effort to put together, I figured I might as well share them on my blog.

Below are various film genres and each contains just seven films. I figured I’d set myself some sort of limit and seven would fit with the original hashtag. So check it out, some of the choices are predictable, some won’t make sense to anyone and I’m sure I’ve also missed a ton of great films. But this is my list right now:

Action
First Blood
Rambo: First Blood Part II
Rambo III
Cobra
Bloodsport
Tango & Cash
Commando

Adventure
The Goonies
Stand By Me
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
Planet of the Apes
Lord of the Flies
The NeverEnding Story
Jurassic Park

Scene from the funniest movie of all time, Monty Python The Holy Grail

Comedy
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Groundhog Day
The Big Lebowski
Office Space
Airplane!
Hot Shots!
The Naked Gun

Drugs
Trainspotting
Carlito’s Way
Dazed & Confused
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Requiem for a Dream
Up in Smoke
Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle

Foreign
City of God
Oldboy
The Triplets of Belleville
Fucking Åmål
Waltz with Bashir
Downfall
Shutter

Mob
The Godfather
The Godfather: Part II
The Godfather: Part III
Goodfellas
Casino
Scarface
Heat

Other
Kids
Vertigo
Sneakers
Menace II Society
The Darjeeling Limited
Magnolia
Natural Born Killers

Scene from Close Encounters of the Third Kind

SciFi
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
Alien
2001: A Space Odyssey
Blade Runner
The Thirteenth Floor
Akira
Waterworld

War Films
Apocalypse Now
Platoon
The Deer Hunter
Full Metal Jacket
Das Boot
Hamburger Hill
Empire of the Sun

Weird
Inception
The Lost Highway
Memento
Donnie Darko
Birdman
Pi
Crash (1996)

Yesterday I finally got to pass by and check out the Sheikh Jaber Al-Ahmad Cultural Center. Those of you who’ve been following the blog for awhile will remember I was the first to break the story on the cultural centre back in May 2014 after my visit to Al Salam Palace. Yesterday was the first time back since then and damn what a difference two years makes.

Firstly the project is basically done. I mean it was done a couple of months ago but they pushed the launch till Q4 of this year so they’re now using the extra time to make sure everything is close to perfect once it’s finally open. I visited all four of the buildings and I’m now even more excited about the cultural centre than I ever was. The whole project is so beautifully designed with each building having a different style interior than the other. I am not sharing a lot of photos in this post because most of the rooms were getting a final coat of paint so everything was covered in plastic and there was lots of scaffolding everywhere. That includes all the theaters but I already shared some great shots last week so you’re not missing out on anything.

Behind the 4 buildings is a super super long and large corridor that stretches from one corner of the project to the other. One side of the corridor is connected to the indoor parking while the other side connects to the buildings. This means in the summer you can go from your car to the theaters or library without having to walk much under the sun or in the heat. The whole exterior structure is extremely photogenic and I’m very interested to see what photographers will manage to do with the place. Inside the ceilings are very high with lots of large spaces and hallways. I can already visualize large crowds of people gathered waiting to enter a theater or after a show is done, just socializing in these large spaces.

The fact that this project was completed in just two years is insane. I have no idea how they did it, probably by throwing lots of money at it but whatever their formula was, they need to apply it to the new airport. Below are the photos I’m sharing for now, once most of the work is done I’ll pass by again and reshoot. If you have any questions you could ask me and I’ll try to answer it with the best of my knowledge.

I love this, a lot. The car is from Kuwait and I’m guessing its probably the same group of guys who do the yearly Jahra to Europe trip. If anyone knows them please put me in touch. I’d love to join them on their next trip and document the whole experience. I’ve got my Datsun, just need to plaster some cheesy stickers on it and it will be ready. [YouTube]

In case you’ve missed the posts from the previous years, here are some links:

No Speak English – Kuwait to Paris 2015
Donuts in the Alps
From Jahra to London

Legendary Kuwaiti shooter Fehaid al-Deehani has refused to carry the Olympic neutral team flag at the Rio Games opening ceremony, where the Gulf state’s athletes cannot march behind their own emblem.

Kuwait is suspended by the International Olympic Committee (IOC) and other leading federations such as FIFA, football’s world body, over government interference in sport.

…

According to Kuwaiti media, the IOC asked al-Deehani, who took trap shooting bronze medals at the 2000 Sydney and 2012 London Games, to carry the Olympic neutral team flag.

But the Kuwait army officer turned down the request.

“I am a military man and I will only carry the Kuwait flag,” he said. “I cannot carry the IOC flag.”

…

The Kuwait Olympic Committee on Sunday called on the government to start dialogue in a last-gasp bid to get the Kuwait flag in to the Rio opening ceremony.

Hussein al-Mussallam, vice chairman of the committee’s legal and international relations commission, told AFP it was time “to sit down together and review things in a positive way”.

He said “the interests of Kuwaiti athletes should come above all else”.

“I am speaking on behalf of the KOC and not in the name of international organizations,” al-Mussallam added.

“The time has come in front of everyone, the Kuwaiti government and the ministry for youth and sports, the Kuwait Olympic Committee and the Olympic Movement Kuwait to sit together for the national interest and for Kuwait to return as it was.”

Al-Mussallam also appealed for all sides to “stay away from personal issues”.

“The Olympic movement has a role to deal with the government in the interest of sport. The government has to hear the point of view of international organizations and the United Nations and the opinion of the Kuwaiti Olympic movement.”

The official said that Kuwaiti athletes want to compete in Rio “under the flag of our country, so and we demand the sports minister respond to the advice of the International Olympic Committee and to stop the implementation of the conflicting articles in the Kuwaiti sports law”. [Full Article]

I’ve been having a hard time finding the final list of Kuwaiti athletes that will be taking part at the Rio Olympics. The article above lists the following:

Abdulrahman Al-Faihan (Trap)
Ahmad Al-Afasi (Double Trap)
Khaled Al-Mudhaf (Trap)
Saud Habib Al-Kandari (Skeet)
Fehaid Al-Deehani (Double Trap)
Abdullah Al-Rashidi (Skeet)
Abdulaziz Al-Shatti (Fencing)
Abbas Al Qali (Swimming)

But, the list isn’t accurate since they leave Faye Sultan out who will be competing in swimming as well. That means there might be other athletes missing as well. So far though, 9 Kuwaitis will be at the Olympics this year.

A new law regulating all Web-based publications including electronic news services, bulletins, websites of newspapers and televisions and alike came into effect yesterday after its bylaws were published in the official gazette. Information Minister Sheikh Salman Al-Humoud Al-Sabah said the law is for professional online media in a bid to preserve Kuwaiti traditions and counter extremist ideology.

The minister urged all those running online news services to register on the ministry website to obtain the necessary license to operate in the country. Under the legislation, all these services must obtain a license from the government before they can operate. Those in existence have one year to comply with the law. Violations committed by these services will be looked in court under the press and publications law, which stipulates hefty jail terms for several offenses.

During its debate in the Assembly in January this year, the minister insisted the law is aimed at regulating electronic media and it will not apply to personal accounts, like those of bloggers. Under the law, the owner and director of all online services must be Kuwaiti. Violations can be penalized by jail terms of up to 10 years if these services call for the overthrow of the country’s regime. [Source]

Thankfully I’m not included in this since I run a personal blog. If I did fall under this new regulation it would turn out to be such a complicated mess since I’d have to register the blog as online media outlet and I might not get approval for it. And then even if I did get approval I wouldn’t be able to own the blog because I’m not Kuwaiti. The whole thing doesn’t make sense though, you can’t regulate or control the internet.

On my way to lunch I spotted a building under construction on fire in Salmiya. I didn’t head towards it or even take a photo, I was just so disinterested. Around an hour later a friend of mine sent me a video of the fire and I started to question if this is possibly an interesting post for the blog that I am missing out on. I was leaving lunch by then so I headed back towards the burning building. There were a ton of fire trucks, a guy on a stretcher being lifted into an ambulance and a crowd gathered watching. Most of the roads around the building which is on Salem Mubarek Street were also blocked off and yet I still wasn’t interested. I snapped my one picture and drove home.

8 years ago I’d be all over this fire so I could post about it on the blog. I would have parked me car, gone down and tried to take as many interesting photos as possible, maybe ask someone how the fire started.. you know like a wannabe reporter. But now I just don’t think a fire in a random building is interesting content anymore. Accident photos, fires, its more kuwaituptodate style of posts than mine, not unless it’s some important structure burning like the airport or something. Sometimes I wonder if I’ve gotten too picky with what I post and if thats a bad thing for the blog. I don’t think it is.

I’m thinking out loud here so bear with me. The blog has always been about curated content, actually maybe that’s not entirely accurate but it has evolved to being about curated content and the curation process has always revolved around me. It’s what I think is interesting at this very moment and usually related to my personal life experiences. So today I’m interested in Matcha, so I’ll post about Matcha, tomorrow I might be interested in I don’t know, staplers, so I’ll post about staplers. If a fire in a building doesn’t interest me then I think it’s fine I don’t post about it. It’s not like in the old days, I don’t feel the need anymore to post everything since there are tons of other places to get content today. I think what makes my blog content unique to other sources is the utter randomness of the topics, all of which in one way or another relate to me.

So there you have it, I think I needed to write this down for me more than for you. But basically I’m going to continue just posting about stuff that matters to me and not what I think might matter to other people. Like it’s always been.